jilli

Monday, July 9, 2012

long, long week

Monday June 25, 2012 10:48 AM

Hola family.

This last week felt long. We did a TON of finding and it is so hot and humid, so that's probably why. I'm mildly terrified of the approaching summer.

Monday was a good pday, zone pday. We semi watched the Best 2 Years... except the dvd was ripped from BYUTV and it was skipping every few minutes... so the movie was less than an hour long haha. But it was okay. We just hung out. It is so good to be with other missionaries sometimes. I love our zone. I don't know anyone in other zones, I feel like. Except Kingwood. Have I told you about our amazing district leader? He would be so awkward if he ever saw this haha. But I think he is such a good leader. I just want to be exactly like him. He motivates us to do better and then we actually do better. It's crazy. Anyway, I really like our district with the senior couple the Fuits. They are neato. Monday night we ate with a member, Sister Struthers, and then went to see Brock. The Hour of Power miracle. It was an okay lesson. We were like "Brock, if you want this, you have to read and come to church." And he was like "I do want this, I do. I will read." That was that.

Tuesday was Sister Training in Kingwood! Oh my gosh it was great. I love Kingwood. I am currently not sleeping again (glorious) so I was really tired the whole time. But President and Sister Crawford showed us the new missionary dress guidelines for sister missionaries on the computer and they are all so cute! I am so so so so haggard. For real. I just feel like I'm worn out looking and gross at all times. It's sick. But I did get a haircut last monday! Ah the Wal Mart! By Bernadette, the black lady with platinum hair. It was fun. I'm totally going to hair school when I get home! I've decided. Then tuesday night we exchanged and I went to spanishland with Hermana Hauser from San Diego California. She is the sweetest girl ever. I felt so so much love from her the whole time I was there, just acceptance and no judgement. She is not very confident, so if we served together all the time, I think that would grate on me, but since it was only an exchange I felt like I could build her up and then she just was loving in return. So awesome. I took a benadryl so I would sleep haha.

Wednesday was my dia de espanol! It was fun. They live by our Elders and the Zone Leaders so every morning they go play basketball with them. That was really fun. We had some appointments in the morning and tracted some and then we had lunch with a member. And HO.LY. CRAP. They have the best food. Oh my word. She didn't speak any English and mi espanol is no bueno so we didn't communicate much but I ate a LOT and apparently the hispanics like that. So I felt good about it. However, since I had my benedryl in me, I was zonked pretty much all day. It didn't help that it is now boiling, sweating hot and I couldn't communicate with people very well. I totally love spanish though! ahhh!!! I want to speak it. I can say words in spanish, but my grammar is really really non existent. So. My day in spanishland was good. It was good to come back, though.

Thursday we had 8 quality contacts (that's a LOT) and talked to a lot of people. We had dinner/hour of power with Angie the recent convert. She is awesome. She made the BEST chicken. It's better and healthier than fried chicken. I am learning some gooood recipes. We tracted and talked to two girls that we set up appointments with to go teach. One of them had been to Utah before! She was like "Yeah, but there's nothing to do in Utah." and we asked "Where did you go in Utah?" Cause she was there for some wilderness class. And she was like "In Vernal." And I was like "Yes. There is definitely nothing to do in vernal." hahaha it was really funny. Earlier in the day we had gone to see brock again and he was hanging out with his "best friend" and may have been high and he was like "Oh sorry, I haven't read and I forgot about yall coming over and I have to go over there with my friends yada yada yada." I'm fed up. So we will just do whatever we do.

Friday it was district meeting. I think I've gushed enough about my district for one e-mail. It was also my "one year in texas" mark. I flew in a year ago last friday. BIZARRE BIZARRE BIZARRE. I go back and look in my journal from a year ago and see what I was doing and how I was feeling and it's just insane how time has traveled. Seems like forever ago, but seems like yesterday. So cliche, but I can't explain it any other way. I was again exhausted but I'm rubbing off on my greenie and she kept thinking of people to go and see and stuff to do. That was nice. But I also just wanted to sleep so bad. It didn't happen haha. We saw these two people, Amy and Cory. They are cool, he has looked into religion before and they are open to us coming and sharing our message. I feel good about them. If they will do as we teach, they will find out and be so happy! She would be a great young woman's leader.We also taught this lady, Veronica, who was one of our quality contacts. It was a good lesson and the spirit was there. I love asking people to be baptized in the first lesson because it shows them we're serious and it brings up their concerns. I love it. We then had dinner with some people that I guess had been in our ward for 30 years or something and moved 8 years ago to Boise? Or something. Yo no se. Anyway it was really fun. They are full of life. And, whoda thunk, on their second marriage each. Man it's starting to mess with my mind!! I just really really only want to get married once, okay?? Then we went to the Agnarrsons! Their pugs had puppies! (don't you love pugs mom?) they are cute little babies.

Saturday we did some stuff around the apartment and I crashed! Not on my bike but phsyically. I laid down on the ground becuase I was boiling hot when we got in from trying to see our appointment (who bailed, by the way. Story of our week) and all the sudden I am waking up! I totally fell asleep. No bueno. I wasn't feeling well, sick to my stomach.. But I have no concept of when I am sick enough to be sick, you know? So that was saturday. A whole lot of nothing. And then Morris took us out to I Hop. Not a great idea for my stomach. But I made it! I was okay.

Yesterday we had church. I love this ward even with all it's challenges. It has taught me so much of what kind of church member I want to be when I go home. I've learned from what I've seen not work and some of the things I've seen work. And above all it has made me want to be a 20% person. Let me explain. When Elder Clarke was here he said "80% of people make excuses while 20% of people get it done." I want to be the type that gets things done. It is pointless to say (and it makes for an unfulfilling life) to live by excuses. If you can't do something, don't do it. Don't make excuses just don't do it and live with the consequences. If you CAN do something, DO IT. Just be happy that you have opportunities for growth. After church we had dinner with the Mitchells. Two weeks ago he had to be in the hospital becuase he's diabetic and his blood sugar was going nuts. They got home and got this book called "Eat to Live" and have been eating by what it says. In 2 weeks he has lost 12 pounds and she has lost 8. They eat a TON of food, but it's all vegetables. Yall should check out the book because not only are they losing weight, after 2 days Brother Mitchell halved his insulin intake. After another 2 or 3 days he has cut it out completely!! He is no longer taking insulin and his blood sugar is fine. CRAZY!!!! Can you believe it?? I thought that was a miracle. Plus dinner was delicious. Then last night afterward we went to see Lauro and Maria. They are the best, I love them so much. Lauro wanted to talk about Forgiveness, so I shared wtih him that story about Corrie Ten Boom and the concentration camp soldier who wanted to shake her hand. Mom do you remember? And she prays and says "I can't forgive this man. Please give me YOUR forgiveness." And then she shakes his hand. Remember? Anyway, he liked that. Because he said that only Jesus is perfect enough to really forgive others. And I said, you're right. We can't do it without him, but He can do it for us. He can help us do it. It was more eloquent than that because we were teaching. oh! jonathan came to church yesterday!!! We miss him a lot. It was good to see him.

Well that's my week. I am tired as can be all the time cause my body and brain wake up at like 5 and won't let me go back to sleep. You may say "oh, that's not that bad!" but I am trying to be a missionary and it makes me so tired in general anyway. And when I can't sleep it is worse. Sorry to complain. Negative nancy. I'm tired. But we will go on! haha

Mom, thanks for your letter and for the package!! You're the best. I am sad to hear about Grandma's house. Is that going to be done before I get home probably? Thanks for all the good juicy stuff haha. I am glad to hear that everyone's doing pretty good.

Dad, thanks for your little e-mail just now! Haha how was your week, you said busy? What's going on at home?

James, did you get my letter? I cannot remember where I put it if I didn't mail it. let me know if you didn't get it. How is life for you? How are the chica's. I forgot to give you an e-mail with my ex companion's info. Do you want it? Will you use it? is a better question.

Jonny, I seem to recall you saying you were going to write me a two part e-mail.... and yet... there is no part two...? hm. :] write to me. Thank you.

I love yall. The church is real and truly Jesus Christ's church. Too much proves that this is the case. there may be facts that contradict or questions that seem unanswered, but the bottom line is the life that you lead and the testimony that you feel and the spirit that is there. These things are not me. They interact with me, I guess, but they are not from me. I love the gospel. It helps me to be who I want to be.

I feel like I'm forgetting something... Shoot. I hate that. I love you so so so much!! Be good and have a good week.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Oh my word I love yall!

Monday, June 18, 2012 1:14 PM

Hi family! Guess what this friday I've been in Texas for 1 YEAR!!! I think that's called "residency" right? I'm starting to feel like my mission is just over. I actually cried (like real tears. crazy.) the other morning cause I just felt like it was speeding to it's finish and I can't do anything about it! And I'm not the missionary I want to be yet. (Yes. I did cry. I felt so retarded. But I was sad. So i did. So sue me.) I'm trying but I am also sooo not what I want to be. This week I had a big step in the right direction. I think if I double space this it might be easier to read? Sorry for my epistles being so long and psycho sometimes.

So. Last week was a good week. Monday we went out to eat with the oldest couple in the ward and the sweetest couple. He's our stake patriarch. And she is just so sweet. Everything she does is just so... genteel and southern. ha i spelled genteel right. Sweet. Anyway they took us out to eat at a seafood resturant and I am a scaredy cat so I got a hamburger. But afterward we went and talked to Kathy, their son's girlfriend who lives at their house and just got baptized February. She is so awesome. I hope they get married. Except it is weird to me that EVERYONE in texas is on their at least 2nd marriage. When we meet someone who has been married to one person, I'm shocked. It's crazy, just very different. Not bad, in fact the B's have the most solid relationship ever, but it's just sad to me that they had to have the trouble of divorce in their lives earlier. They are stronger for it though.

Tuesday we studied at the little park on the water by our house. Oh it is so beautiful. SO beautiful and we talked there about one of my goals. I've written it the past couple weeks I think: Talk to everyone. Let me explain the progression that this goal has undergone. I felt at first, like I should talk to everyone. That made me feel guilty that I hadn't talked to everyone and that I didn't want to. But then I examined it and realized that I actually want to talk to everyone I'm just afraid to. So I started to think about how I wanted to talk to everyone. But it didn't happen. So finally I wrote it in my journal one day. I knew that if I did, I would be accountable for it. So I put it off and put it off, but one day I realized that I simply just had to do it. So I did. After a week or so, I told sister Erickson that I want to talk to everyone. And I continued to bring it up when we talked about goals for the next two weeks probably. During this time we got put into the Spanish Zone and loaded with a Quality Contact goal of 13/week (crazy. Spanishland, for sure.) and we got our new district leader who is just a REALLY great leader. I don't know how he does it but he motiviates people a TON. I will observe how and get back to you. And then at the park studying sister Erickson and I talked about it. And we said "Okay, on the way home we're going to talk to 3 people we wouldn't otherwise talk to." and we saw this guy and we just walked over. It was awkward. But we got a return appt. And then we talked to another man down the street. Then we made a guy stop mowing his lawn haha and talked to him. Then we talked to a guy in his front yard and got a return appointment. All on one tiny road on the way home. And we kept doing it all day. On our bikes we would stop people or go over to people. And I did it!! AHHH!! It was so cool. It was amazing to see how God helped me reach my goal. He put everything in order to make it reachable. How cool is that? Does it sound cool to yall? Cause it WAS cool, I don't know if I'm making it sound as cool as it was.

Wednesday I wrecked on my bike! HA! It was my first bike crash, let me pain the picture for you. We're on our way to stop by a less actives house on this BUSY, long road (South Broadway/Old Hwy 146, if you want to Google Earth it) we were right the Little Cedar Bayou. And I think i might have overcorrected. I'm not sure. But all the sudden the handlebars were facing the opposite direction so obviously the inertia of the bike wasn't jiving with that so I went forward into the handle bars and then we went down, me and Daphne. My shoe flew into the road and I felt like I was going to puke. I've never had the wind knocked out of me, I guess. I just kind of crouched there sounding like I was gonna die cause I couldn't breathe and it hurt really bad. And then I hobbled over to the grass in case I was going to hurl. And sister erickson comes over and i'm like "Get my shoe!" and then she tells me I'm bleeding. (Not bad. I just realized that this might sound like I was really injured. I wasn't I'm totally fine. Just a gashed elbow and foot and a very sprained foot) sister erickson is like "do you want to go home and lie down?" and I'm in a daze so I'm like "no. let's just keep going. rebecca likes us to come in the morning" and then we got to rebecca's and talked to a man on his porch - Joe - and came back later and taught him and now he's reading the book of mormon and our new investigator! so that was good. Wednesday night we talked to Jonathan. We dropped him :[ We had to. We have to stay connected to our purpose and teaching him every week is not fulfilling our purpose. I was so sad. So was Sister erickson. We love jonathan a lot. I know that one day he'll be baptized, but he just needs to DECIDE.

Thursday was a LONG day where I felt so sore because hello I just wrecked on my bike yesterday and forgot to rest so all of my muscles hurt. We planned and did some work from the house in the morning and in the evening went tracting and had correlation mtg. Sister Manzo is my hero, just know that! She is changing things! I know I always say it but if one person can get a vision for what the Lord wants them to do they can literally change everyone around them.

Friday we had district meeting with our wonderful Fuits - the senior couple. Dad will you ask Grandma about kathy hicken? Friday my foot was going bonkers. I coudln't step on it without a TON of pain. But we taught angie and robert and morris and visited with the elders old investigators (finally!! we haven't been able to get in with them all transfer)

Saturday we all our appointments kind of bombed. That was awesome. But Sister Manzo took us to lunch and then to one of our appts that ended up bombing. I'm going to take a picture with her this week so that yall can see her and start the blueprints for the statue of her that you're going to make, right? haha for reals though she helps us so much.

Yesterday we had dinner with the Gallachers. oh the gallachers I love them. They're moving back to Utah probably so maybe I'll come see them when I get home? That would be so crazy but I'll do it. Then we saw Lauro and Maria and taught a plan of salvation lesson. Why do I ever teach anything but the missinoary lessons to pepole? I don't know. I love teaching the PMG lessons.

Today is Zone pday (we're watching the best two years hoorah!). Tomorrow I'm going on an exchange with the HERMANAS!!! I'm going to spanishland! I'm so excited! I love spanish so so so much and I love hearing it and learning it. And then it will be a normal week were we try to talk to everyone we see while we're out and I try to be a better missionary. I really want to be so much better than I am. But I am happy and grateful. I wonder if I should feel more discontent, because I sort of feel guilty that I'm so happy when I'm so not perfect. But I think that's just Jillian's mixed up thought pattern.

Sister Erickson is doing good. She's still adjusting but she's doing well and we're communicating well and I really love her. I wish I was a better trainer for her, but I just have done my best and I'm okay with that.

How are yall?

Mom, y ou're the best. I LOVED your letter to me. I laughed when you told me about Grandma and your outing, it sounds so sweet. I love Grandma. Will you tell her that when you see her next? I love her very much. How is work going? I think Rebecca Tingey was here last week? That was the rumor around the hood. haha. How are you feelihg? You said you were feeling sad kind of. That's okay. I told Sister Erickson this morning that she should let herself feel sad. And that she won't feel sad forever if she lets herself feel sad right now. I also loved your cookies thing! She sounds really smart. How is the ward? I miss the good old ward sometimes. Keep writing them.I just like to hear what you do with your days.

Dad, thanks for your e-mail! I loved it! I love to hear about your week and your advice and everything. I'm glad you got to see some of the people you saw. And that your fathers day was good. I cannot believe that last fathers day I was in the MTC!!!! AH! I feel ancient. For real, I'm going to come home and everyone will be younger than me. Keep your letters/emails coming! I love to just hear about your week. Also I wanted to know if you have one of those little baby tiny tape players. I know you used to have a gray one and I'm really hoping you didn't chuck it because mikelle sent me a tape and it's one of those like 1 inch big tapes and I can't listen to it cause NOBODY has a tiny tape player anymore. Do you have one? Let me know if you do, I want it!!

James thank you for your letter. I always freak out when I get a letter from you! It sounds like you're doing really good! I'm happy for that. Will you go out with one of my companions please?? I really want you to, I will write you an e-mail filling you in. And I'm mailing the letter I wrote to you tomorrow. Your bachelor party sounds fun! Keep telling me things about your life! How's the everything? Will you write me again :]?

Jonny!!!! Dude! I wrote you your own e-mail but let's just say that i am sooo happy to hear from you! Shoot, you sound mature. It's cool. And weird. You better finish the letter you said it was in two parts. How is work? How is summer? Are you getting a tan? I'm pretty sure you're the only member of our family who can really really tan. It's unfair. Just read my e-mail to you. Mmkay pumpkin?

I love yall! I think the theme of this last part here is I just want to hear about you!!! I want to hear about your week. I know it kind of is laborious to write it out, but please keep doing it!! I heard from you ALL this week and it made me so so soo happy.

I love being a missionary. I love this church and I adore this gospel. I love the book of mormon. read it every morning. Even just one verse. You have time to do that. Will you do it?? one verse every morning this week. Promise you're life will be better. I realize that I totally like bare my testimony in every letter haha. Oh well. so sorry. I'm what i am :] I'll be normal when I get home, I hope. Love you! Have a good week!

pictures:

cassi's baptism i look so matronly. yucko.
only in texas will you find a no guns sign in a public library. i love it.
at the beach
on the way to the temple
at the temple
again
one year later!! we met a year ago this day. And I was wearing the same skirt. Neato.

...stay tuned I'lls end antoher picutre email!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

happy graduation jonnay

Jonny you are graduated!! That is so neato. I think you're probably on senior trip right now too. I went to Lake Powell when I graduated, you are just following in my footsteps. I guess you're going to BYU after all huh? :] Just kidding. How was graduation yall? I remember mine, how that teacher traipsed up and down the rows of kids, grabbing beach balls and stabbing them with her pen. ahaha it was so funny.

This past week was great. Let me tell yall about it.

Monday we went on exchanges. Sister Cochran and I went to Baytown and it was so necessary. It was so wonderful to talk to her. She is having a kind of difficult time right now, feeling the need to be so much better and overwhelmed with her companion and the area. Her companion is really awesome, Sister Mokeaki, but she is still learning english and it is difficult sometimes for people to communicate with her. Poor Mokeaki I can't believe how hard that would be. Anyway, it was a good exchange because we were able to talk a LOT about what she needs to do in her area (PLUS she's been in baytown for going on six months. I know how rough THAT is to be in one area and think youre going to stay there forever). So we talked and I was able to help her. It was really nice cause I was able to use some of the things that i've learned from struggling on my mission to help her. We are just meant to be friends. I can't believe I haven't always known her. We are just real best friends :] Can't wait for you to meet her!! T minus six months. Way too soon.

Tuesday we were still on exchanges and we didn't have a lot of sucess. But I felt rejunviated when I got back to La Porte. I was kind of sad not to be with sister cochran any more but it felt good to be home and with Sister erickson. She did great leading the area for the first time. I hope that I get transferred for her sake so she can know that she CAN lead an area. It will be hard and imperfect, but she can do it.

Wednesday we met with Berenis and we taught her some more commandments. She is not ready to be baptized becuase she can't commit to it. But it's because she doesn't have any support. It's hard to make big changes without support. We are going to keep working with her and teaching her how to make commitments. She is great. She said that she knows that God wants her to be baptized and that she wants to be baptized, but she also doesn't want to be baptized into our church. And we explained that baptism is the way it is in our church because of the preisthood authority. It will only do what you want it to do because it is done by the power and authority of God. We also met with Angie. It is so awkward to meet with angie because she just stares at us and we don't know what we are supposed to teach her. Also her kids are so cute but they want our attention and we can't always give it to them. So it's just a predicament. We also had dinner with the Edwards - they have this beautiful house that they are remodeling a little bit. but it's a really old house so it's more like they are restoring it. Oh my word, it is so gorgeous. It's old, you can tell it's old and the style is different from my style but the architecture is awesome. Mom, you would love it. I also found a neighborhood that we could walk when you come here with me. It's in shore acres, right by where I live. It's really nice. We had our correlation meeting. Once again, the difference one person can make is astounding. Sister Manzo is changing missionary work in this ward. It's really encouraging. I love her so much.

Thursday we had lunch with Morris is Southern Komfort Kitchen again. Really good. We had hour of power with the Pearsons and it went really well. I love hearing people's conversion stories. She said that her first set of missionaries came walking up her drive way and I think she was smoking a cigarette or something? And she said "So yall are going to convert me?" And they said "No I think we'll let the spirit do that." And she was really impressed by that. I think I'll use that if it ever comes up because it's true. we aren't going to convert anyone. We are simply instruments in God's hands. Neato.

Friday we had our first district meeting. let me tell you about our district, it's rad. We have us, Elder Backman (my old zone leader, now the district leader) and his greenie Elder Jensen they are opening up the Pasadena 1st Area as it used to be a south mission area, Elder Hope and Elder Marlar (who also used to be a zone leader) opening up Broadway 1 area to our mission, and the Fuits. They are a senior couple from Utah. Dad, can you ask Grandma if she knows a Kathy Hicken? From Utah? We've got to be related, i'm SURE. It was a great meeting. Elder Backman is a really good leader. I admire that about him a lot. He just gets inspiration and then asks us to do things and then if we dont' do them he asks us why and he doesn't sugar coat his disappointment. That is really annoying sometimes but it's genuine and I appreciate that a lot. It makes me want to be accountable because I know he's going to expect me to do it. We, for example, are now supposed to get 13 Quality Contacts a week. HA! That is such a spanishland goal (a quality contact is when you contact someone and set up a return appointment with them). But he wants us to get it so we're going to try harder. I know our leaders are inspired, though, because I've been praying for the strength and courage to talk to everyone and that's kind of what our district meeting was about. We have good leaders.

Saturday we did area book work for a little because our service fell through, and then we taught Brock, our investigator from the hour of power that was crying, remember? he's doing okay. And Brother Raymundo a RC/LA that we are trying to reactivate and had dinner at the Carpres an active family in our ward that have 4 adopted children. They're cool. And then we went to see Brother and Sister B. They are the sweetest old couple. Brother B is the stake patriarch and Sister B just hugs everyone and calls them "darlin" and she is a true southern lady :] I love the south!!

Yesterday we had church. OH MY GOSH I love church. I love our ward. I missed it a lot last week. I didn't realize how much until we got to church and I felt like "ahhh, yes. This feels good and normal and I am glad to be back." Our Bishop is back in town and it is good to have him back. Also we had a church tour after church with Sister McCuen, she is a returned missionary and served in the Italy, Milan mission (just like you Aunt Cindy!!) she said she had a lot of success on her mission but that it was REALLY hard work. Speaking of, Sister Ericksons dad served in Milan around the same time as Cindy. I wonder if she remembers an Elder Mark Erickson? That would be so cool if she does. Then we taught Jonathan. Oh my gosh, I really love Jonathan. And we are finished teaching him the lessons. And we don't want to be, but we are probably going to have to drop him. AH I have never wanted someone to be converted this much. Not just baptized, we dont' just want him dunked. We want him healed and converted and happy. And the gospel can do it, but he has to let it. I know that he would be so happy. OH so happy if he did what we're asking him to do. Jesus Christ can heal all wounds, even the ones that we're trying to prevent from happening. So if we just trust in him and live our lives, He will take good care of us. I know this. I am trying to apply it to what I REALLY want: to talk to everyone. I figure if I focus on it enough, then I will do it. Oh, Sister Crawford has helped me to change my life with that concept. Remember that mind coach book that she loves? Well sister erickson got it last week and we read it together and I thought again about how my life changed completely when I stopped doing "Guilt Beatings" When I change the word "Should" to "Want to" becuase I really want to do these thigns, I'm just afraid of them. So instead of feeling like "oh, I should talk to everyone" which in turn makes me feel like a failure, I think "oh, I want to talk to everyone." and then I know that it's my goal and it's just hard but if I want it I can work for it. Does that make sense? I love it. I love the Crawfords so much. Anyway, it was a good lesson with Jonathan. i'm glad I'm learning what it means to really love your investigators and desire their salvation. I'm sure I have more to learn, but this experience with Jonathan has made it super apparent.

So. How are yall?

Mommy, thank you thank you thank you thank you for the package!! My retainer is already moving my teeth back into place. It's very good. I have to take ibuprofen before I put it in or it will wake me up in the night haha. But it's getting better so thank you! Also thank you for the pistachio's specifically! I LOVE THEM. Oh I was so excited for specifically them. How is everything? How is work? How is summer? Dad said you went up to take care of Grandma last weekend? That is so good. I know that our Heavenly Father wants us to look after Grandma right now. I wish I was there to help. How is she? You're the best. How are you feeling?

Dad, thanks for your e-mail! You always tell me the thigns I want to hear about from you! I love it. How is work going? I am excited to come home and learn more about what you are doing with your job. It still doesn't make perfect sense to me, but I get it generally. Do you start prepping for next Stake Conference right away? did I tell you that I liked your talks?? I did! I love that you talked about Arise and Shine Forth! How is everything? Did you and Mom get HCT tickets or just went to that one! i'm totally jealous. I don't know if I told you, but easter weekend we went to visit Lauro and Maria and they were watching the Ten Commandments on TV and I was like "I know exactly what my Dad is doing right now!" haha don't tell me if you weren't doing that :] I just know that you love when they show the ten commandments on tv at easter. So do I :]

James, what is up! I didn't send your letter, I'm so sorry. But how are you? I feel like it's been too long since I've known how you are doing? How is summer school? How is work? How are the chicas? I had a dream that you dumped a girl and dad told me afterward and I was like "What?? I didn't even know he was dating anyone." and I was mad. ... so... if that happens in real life I'll probably be mad. :] Hows your friends? Dad said he's marrying Carter and Carter's girlfriend! Nice. That will be sweet.

Jonny, how was powell?? WAY FUN? Tell me about graduation? I am going to make you write me a letter somehow. I just want to hear what's going on and how you are. Tell me how you feel about what's going on in your life. DO IT. You have time, I know you have time. :] Love you.

Yall are the best. I love you so much. I wrote President today and asked him to change the music rule haha. So i'll let you know if he does. I LOVE the CD you sent me though Mom!! I take it in the car and then in the house when we go in at night and I love it!! I searched for Sar's mom in the pictures but I coudln't find her. That first song, the Praise to the Lord, The Almighty/FanFare is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah. I love it. Did you listen to it before? I love you! The church is Christs and the gospel is the truth. I love it and I'm trying to be a good representative. It's going too fast. This mission is the best thing I've ever done. Hands down. The most fun and the most difficult. I have never been more grateful for anything in my life. I love being in TExas! I hope yall are ready to come back. :]

Love, Sister hicken

PS WRITE TO ME!!!!! I want to hear from YALL. ALL yall! :]

Monday, June 4, 2012

oh baby

Monday, June 4, 2012 12:12 PM

Hola mi familia. We had an... interesting week. A very long week. Lets begin.

Last pday we went to Sylvan Beach with the spanish missionaries for memorial day. I already told you about that. I got burned on my face and now it is peeling. Awesome.

Tuesday we went to see Angie, the elders recent convert. She is the one that is full blooded native american. Her kids are the cutest things ever. I will send pictures. Anyway, she has no family support and we are trying to rally ward support for her, but in the mean time we will see her a lot. She is the queen of one word answers so it is awkward. Its best when we talk about the gospel. I can talk about the gospel wayyy better than I can small talk. haha i'm gonna be a weirdo for a while at home. We also saw Catherine again (not reading the book of mormon. uggggh) and Brock. We went to dinner with Morris at this DELICIOUS RESTURAUNT! We are going to eat there when yall come do a mission tour with me. :] It is called Southern Comfort Kitchen. HOOOLY it is so delish. It made sister Erickson real sick afterward. Here is a Texas tid bit for ya: Chicken Fried Stake is WAYYYY different here. It is literally a stake deep fried in chicken fat or something. It is not as good. I prefer Chicken fried chicken. Anyway we rounded off our night seeing our recently reactivated Brother Samford and Brother Raymundo - we're working on him. He's been a member for about a year.

Wednesday was the temple. :] :] :] Oh my gosh I have missed going to the temple. THAT is one place that will be a highlight when yall come back here. It is one of the most beautiful temple's I've ever seen. EVER. And the inside just beats the band. It was a great day for me. I was praying for a couple things, and a few answers, and for parts of my testimony I want to build. And in the celestial room, I just felt SO happy. Oh, so happy you can't imagine. Family, I've never been this happy. I really havent and I know it is because I start my day every day with prayer and scripture study and then I get to consecrate my life to it all the time. That is how I want everyone to feel. That is why I do missionary work becuase I want them to get to that room. The celestial room of the temple. The only thing that would make that better is to have my family there with me, and that is the end goal. That families can be together progressing and becoming fit to live with God. :] So happy. So happy. I love this gospel. I've had several moments of confirmation that it is true and real this week and those are such important moments to me. Even if they're fleeting, I am positive that I had them and I know how I felt in them. So I hold on to that in the inbetween moments, which there are more of. I have faith that one day they'll all blend together and I'll feel that flame of testimony all the time. Obviously, it was a great experience for me. I hope I get to go to the temple one more time before my exit temple trip. THE MORNING I fly home :O Way too soon. After the temple we went to the dirt-nast Chinese Barf-ee (as Cochran likes to call them haha) and I didn't eat. It was too sicko. Afterward, like I said, sister Erickson was sick so she slept before our ward correlation meeting. Sister Manzo is on fire and she is going to be the big difference in the ward. It is astounding to me when one person has the vision and drive to acheive how it lifts a group of people - so many people are getting energized and things are changing because of sister manzo. It's crazy to think that when I got here, she wasn't totally active. Things have changed and it's the scriptures and the gospel that does it.

Thursday we had dinner with Sister Ruiz and it was really good because it was an awful day before hand. Sister Ruiz was heartbroken when we got there because her mother who lives in Mexico had decided not to come visit her. And it was so sad becuase she loves her mother and she neversees her (obviously). We shared a lesson with her about faith and she felt really a lot better when we left. That is the power of the gospel. What it does is make people feel better- whatever ails them. I know that.

Friday we had zone meeting and it was my ONE YEAR MARK!! It is totally nuts to think about what I was doing a year ago. Because it doesn't seem like it's been a year. At zone meeting we learned we are doing the coolest thing as a mission. We are creating T.H.E. 1st ward. Which means we will have 345 either reactivated members or convert baptisms mission wide. That is enough people to make a ward. It will not be a real ward, but the number of people could create a ward. Does the make sense? I am totally jazzed about it. When we create the new ward we get to go NASA!!!! YUSSS! I'm way excited. I apparently live really close to NASA. Who knew? I have no idea where it is though. We went to KFC afterward and ate a ton of food and sang to me and Cochran (and Curtis and Baldwin via telefono) for our one year mark. It was awesome. We saw Robert and Angie afterward and then had a lesson with Jonathan. AHHH I don't know what to do with Jonathan. While we were saying the closing prayer I got the feeling "Drop him" and I was so scared to. So I tried to but it didn't work and Sister erickson doesn't feel that way so I'm like "uhhh I can't drop our investigator with only my inspritation!" so i don't know what to do. We'll pray about it.

Saturday we had another tri-mission conference. This is my 4th General Authority. What a lucky duck I am, huh? It was Elder Paul V. Johnson (and a lot of my perscription qutoes are from him!!) he is really tall. It was good to see all the Houston missionaries that I love. Elder Curtis (our district leader) is now a zone leader - I'm so proud!! And Leishman and Boehmer are district leaders. So great. I saw Melody Haslam do you remember her? She is in the south mission and she goes home at the end of this month. Crazy!! Elder Johnson was with Elder Villarreal of the area 70. HE WAS SO COOL. I loved him. He talked about his conversion experience and how important missionary work is even though it's hard. The work of the gospel is the most important thing there is, even though it's hard. He was just funny and cool. Romeo Villarreal. Look him up. I hope he becomes someone that we hear in general conference. Elder Johnson talked about his grandson who got Bone cancer and the leg had to be amputated. They did this bizarre sugery where they used his ankle joint for his new knee joint but he couldn't do the phsycial therapy it was too painful. For months and months htey tried to do therapy and it wouldn't work. Then one day they were doing therapy and he fell and broke his leg. His poor little leg. And everyone was so upset, especially Elder Johnsons daughter - the mother. And she said "Why after all of this, the cancer the chemotherapy the pain, does he have to break his little leg and feel all of this pain?" The little 11 year old boy said this pain was worse than the amputation the chemo everything. But what happened was incredible: because they had to reset the break the leg healed in a way that allowed him to do the physical therapy without pain. And he was running and walking with a prosthetic leg in no time at all. As opposed to months and months of pain and discouragement. Elder Johnson talked about how we ask "Why is this happening? And why do we have to go through the pain?" Because the pain is obstructing the view of God's plan. Of how He's going to make it okay. I have a testimony of that as well. It was a GREAT conference. I'm happy I got to go.

Yesterday we had "An historic conference" (hahah S. Gifford Nielson ALWAYS says that. This is "an historic conference" I wish people would just say "A historic conference". "An historic" sounds totally weird.) and it was they created the 18th stake in Houston - The summerwood stake. So we split from our Zone and it became the Summerwood zone and we are still in The Houston East Zone - combined with the old Spanish zone. It's weird sounding, but I can't explain it better than that. It was a good conference but the entire thing was bi-lingual so it took nine thousand hours. It was cool becuase our Stake is a bilingual stake. And our stake president, oh my gosh I almost cried looking at him up there. He is SOOO young. Probably like 40. And he doesn't speak spanish. He has been in the stake presidency for 2.5 years and he said he is super overwhelmed. The challenge that he gave us was to pray for him and his counselors :[ oh, of COURSE we will. It is going to be the best stake presidency. The Love and energy of his counselors was infectious. And he is just so humble, you can hear it. He does not know what to do and that makes us all rally around him somehow - cause he's really really young. It's going to be great. We're meeting him this coming Friday. Then yesterday was a really bad day. Sister Erickson was very upset so President and Sister Crawford came and talked to us. It just amazes me how the gospel changes people. I have felt so similar to how she's feeling and I am so happy now. I swear, there was a time when I thought :How can I do this for 16 more months when I hate it every day??" and I didn't hate it every day but it felt like it a lot. And I didn't think I'd be happy. But I AM. I am happier than ever before in my life. I know the Father was teaching me faith in His Son. I don't remember a whole lot of specific words from my setting apart blessing but I do remember the words "You will find the happiness you seek". And I thought about that when I was so sad in Porter. And do you know what? I have!! And becuase I have I know sister erickson will. I just will try my best to help her. It is going to be alright. It may not be a tap dance 24/7 but it will be alright and the Lord will help us. I can't say how special the feelings of faith and trust I do have in the Lord are. I think I was partly with Sister erickson to learn how to pray as my first source of guidance.

Well, I've been here a year. A YEAR!!!!!!! Can you believe it? I can't. It dragged at some points and flew at others. And right now I just can't believe I'm almost done. :[ I'm trying to be the missionary I want to be. I want to talk to everyone and that's so hard for me. But I will keep trying and the Lord iwll help me.

Mom, thanks for your letter this week! It was a good one I love to hear about your life! How are things this week? Thanks for sending my box and retainer you are just so great. I hope that you are so happy!!!!

Dad, thanks for your e-mail I took picutres of it so I could read it:] my companion is a genius and figured that out so we don't have to print anything. It's neato. And then we can print it later or print the pictures. So smart. I will read it today. How is everything going for you. Pray for my poor new stake president.he is so overwhelmed to be a president so young with so little experience and with a bilingual congregation when he doesn't speak spanish.

James, how are you? Hows everything going? I'm seding you a letter.

Jonny you graduate tomorrow!! tell me how it goes.

Grandma Hicken, THANK YOU so much for sending me 'the touch of the masters hand' i love it!!! you are the best and thank you for writing me always. I'm sorry I don't write back better, but I appreciate every letter I get.

I LOVE YOU ALL! BE good and start your day with scripture study!! LOVE YOU

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

long, long, long week Tuesday May 29, 2012

Hi my family. We had a really long week. Our first week with the ward as our own. It wasn't our best week, but we kept on. I've learned about myself that productivity slows when I feel a loss of support or an increase in stress. BOTH happened this week. But we're doing okay. I know the Lord has blessed me and Sister Erickson to get along well and survive. We're sort of struggling with that a tiny bit, but I know that God is in control and if we pray to Him we will be alright. I am trying to remember that at the beginning of my mission I had unrealistic and unfair expectations of missionary life and that's a part of the deal. I am trying to be humble and patient which is hard for me cause I tend to react pridefully when someone hurts me. But we are okay, we are alright. Oh my gosh there is a jumping spider on the dest across from me. Ah! It disappeared. Gross.

Family, it is getting hot. I miss yall, I don't want to do this "texas summer" thing again, we have an entire ward to take care of, and only 100 active members out of like 600, my companion is not too happy with me, I'm trying not to stress, we're going to be reorganizing the stake this weekend, our investigators have slowed in their progress and I just don't know what to do. It feels good to say it all. However, I really honestly am grateful for these trials. How else can God teach me certain things? For example, I've always had the problem of talking to anyone and everyone or consulting any source BUT God when I have a problem. That is something I have wanted to overcome for a while. I haven't fully overcome it yet, but I am making progress. My prayers have become sweet and sacred times. That is a huge blessing. And I am working to reinforce the "consider the lilies" attitude I have started to develop. And solidified in my mind is the kind of member I really really want to be when I get home. One that is helpful in any and every way. One who always does her visiting teaching and fulfills her calling. What is more important than this gospel and the church that organizes and carries out the ordinances? Not a thing! So all in all, these things are making me a little low in spirits. But I am learning so it's okay. God has infinite time to listen to me when no one else can or wants to.

This past week, the high light was probably Cassi's baptism in kingwood on Friday. I went really well and Cassi was really happy afterward. It made me miss Kingwood so bad!! I went into the church and I just MISSED being in Kingwood 2. I know I complained about being there for eternity (and it WAS a long loooong time) but I loved it. It feels like home to me. I walked into the gym and I missed pday. I just was nostalgic for it all. But there is a lot of work to be done in our area.

Berenis told us this week she wants to be baptized, but not baptized into the church. Nice. Jonathan is still waiting for his answer, but I think he's getting closer to making a decision. Robert and Angie are both doing well. We are going to be visiting them often cause the ward is not. However there is one man, James Samford, that we have successfully reactivated! And he wants to be a home teacher again!!! YES!! I just want to work with less actives all the time. Elder Clarke said "A reactivation is just as good as a baptism."

One goal I really want to achieve is to talk to everyone. I don't talk to everyone cause I don't know how or what to say and I get scared. But I really want it, so I know that God will help me achieve it. It is for his Kingdom, so He will help me.

We had an hour of power miracle I wanted to tell you about. Our dinner asked us to come at six so we were planning to do hour of power at 7 with them so at least we could still do it. We got on our bikes and saw a man sitting on the sidewalk bawling. We stopped and asked him if we could help, what was wrong etc. He said that his best friend had just forced him to join a gang and he was planning to kill himself, there was nothing to live for. I asked for his name, and he said "Brock". So I said, "Brock, we are missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and we know that God sent us to talk to you. We're representatives of Jesus Christ and there is so much for you to live for!" We asked him to come with us to Brother and Sister B's house for dinner, but on the way there he figured he might need to go talk to his mom, so we asked him to meet us at the beach at 7:30. We got to our dinner explained the situation and Brother and Sister B asked if they could come with us to the beach! Kathy Peele, our recent convert, lives with the B's and she came as well. It was a GREAT first lesson and we asked him to be baptized June 30. He said he would prepare for that day! We're meeting with him later today! Coolie miracle huh?

Mom, thanks for your letter! I needed letters this week and yours was wonderful. How is Grandma doing? I just wish there was something I could do for her from here. Do you think she'd like it if I wrote to her? I probably just will - I want to! Jump in, right President Rasband? How is life? Tell me about your life! What is summer going to be like for you?

Dad, thanks for your little e-mail! I will look forward to your letter and your talks. I'm needing some extra uplift lately so that will be nice to read. Did everything go okay? I hope so!

James, how is summer school? Hows the ward? And everything? I need you to date a few people, I will write you a letter and get you in touch with them. thank you very much.

Jonny you are GRADUATING! (... i hope.) I'm so proud of you. How are you going to spend your summer. What are your plans. You really need to write me. See if you can make it to a half a page. You can type it on facebook and then copy paste print. Just do it.

Well my family, please pray for me! I really need it right now. Things are getting difficult. I'm so grateful for the knowledge that the gospel gives me that all will be well. I get to go to the temple tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited I can't stand it! It has been since JANUARY. TOO too too long. It is getting hot which equals I don't want to do squat so please once again, pray for me. I got sunburned at Sylvan beach for pday yesterday. With the spanish. So crazy. LOVE YOU.

Oh! If any of you know where you can find the poem "touch of the master's hand" could you send it to me? thanks!

hola. good news and sad news Monday May 21, 2012

Monday, May 21, 2012 11:13 AM

Hi family! We had an... interesting week last week. I'll go through it sequentially. Let's start on Monday

We had a dinner with the Callens and taught Cassi her last lesson - the Commandments. she will be getting baptized this week! In kingwood :] where my heart lives. I love Kingwood 2. That was pretty much it. For pday we had zone pday combined with the spanish zone. We went to the world's coolest park. It's in pasadena. We just did random stuff. A water balloon fight was part of it! OUR IDEA!!! It was really fun. It's getting HOTTER than blazes out here :[ AHH!!

Tuesday was a terrible day. We didn't do very much except have dinner with a less active family. The Agnarssons. She is the sweetest lady alive. She told us we can do our laundry at her house!! SCORE! No more 5 dollars a week in quarters which I always forget. Tuesday sister Erickson and I talked a lot though. We figured some stuff out and I think we're more comfortable with eachother now.

Wednesday was our final choir practice in Broadway. It was good. Then we met with Robert to get him all ready for baptism, then we met with Jonathan (please do pray for him. I want him to know this is the truth. Or at least believe it. Right now he's at the stage of "hope") then we had dinner with Sister Schaffer, a less active woman who is raising her GREAT grandchildren. ha! I feel so bad for her.

Thursday we had lunch with Morris Bryant, then we had the interview with Robert for his baptism. Then we had a lesson with Cassi, then we had a lesson with this couple living in our apartment complex - heather and clint. They need the gospel so much but there's always something in the way of us ACTUALLY teaching a lesson. We always end up sharing a simple message and praying. LAME.

Friday we had another awesome district meeting (i ADORE this district. SO much. I always leave feeling like I want to work harder. Which has NOT always been the case in district meetings gone by.) Then we had lunch with Lauro and Maria at the chinese buffet (I don't love chinese buffets, i've learned. there was a semi decent one in porter, buttttt all other ones I've been too are not so great. the best tasting thing I had there was the tapioca pudding. yep.) and then we met with Robert to just get him squared away for baptism. He was so excited. We taught heather and clint and then had dinner with the Ruiz family in our ward.

Then comes the big bang. The elders got a flush call :[ AND they are not putting elders back in this ward. Yeah. Sooo... our fantastic ward that has so many many challenges? Yes that is now ALL ours. And we are overwhelmed to say the least. And we are heartbroken. I just LOVE Elder Brown and Elder Sylvester. I honestly do. Elder Brown is like a big brother and he looks after us and loves us. And Sylvester is like a little brother. He is the teasy one who makes things fun. And now we are in boon town. Alone alone, totally alone. And we are really sad. I cried :[ I don't think I've cried over transfers for a while. And Lundgren is going home. MOM! I told her to call yall, and I gave her your phone number so expect a call from her telling you what time and where her farewell is. If it is at all possible, I would love for yall to go. She is such an angel, honestly. I am going to miss her. She took care of me as well. I guess a theme for my life right now is annyone who took care of me is now getting stripped away. Heroes journey style. haha.

So we were sad on Saturday. We went with the Elders to meet their recent converts better and their investigators. And I am so overwhlemd. There is this one apartment of college kids they've been teaching and it seems so odd and bizarre and I am going to feel overwhelmed by that. Saturday evening was Robert Barnes' baptism and it was really great. I sang again :] The Elders got it on tape. Man I'm gonna miss them!! (Recall how this SAME thing happened to me in Kingwood 2. Why is that???). Then we had FHE with Angie, the elders recent convert. We went to meet with her and they told her they were leaving and she started crying. HOLY MOLY. I feel like I can't live up to these elders. they're good. They are so loving. That is kind of what we lack. I pray and pray and pray for charity, but I don't feel like other people feel it from me. I don't know what to do. What should I do? Any advice? Please have some, thank you.

Sunday, yesterday was the choir fireside in spanish. Lundgren cried the whole time. That is the last time I'll see her before December :[ SO SO SO SAD. But it was a good fireside. I love spanish. I can't wait to learn it. I've also decided to learn how to paint (Jenna Douglass you wanna teach me?? Thanks for your letter by the way!! I am writing you back!)

Basically, family, I am just really sad. This is why. I love these Elders, they are like brothers to me when mine are so far away. And we are going to be alone and it's going to be so different. And much less fun. And sometimes sister erickson and I get tense and then we see the Elders and things just poof evaporate. And that's not going to happen. But the Lord will take care of us. I really know that. It just makes me sad when people go away, especially people I have truly come to love. Elder Brown is going to go see Grandma Hicken when he gets home though, I guess haha. He is awesome. We can adopt him. Yall will like him a lot. There's this song (on the only CD that's not Mo TAb we can listen to) and it says "I know our Father's watching over this world. He will help me find my way." And I believe that. He will help us. He will not forsake us. But I am just sad.

Sorry this e-mail isn't long and isn't very upbeat like my last ones. I'm going to be fine. I'm just wayyyy overwhelmed with everything we have to do and that we have to do it by ourselves. I will be fine. We will be fine. We will learn a lot. Maybe i'm being prepared for woodville. Sister Cochran is staying in Baytown so we'll be okay.

Mom, thanks for your e-mail today! If I ever send a tape again, I will include the "my twin" bit. I'm excited to get your letter!! Tell me about your day to day stuff!

Dad, how was stake conference?? I hope you got my letter but something makes me think you didn't. So sorry if you didn't! It will find it's way their soon. How are you?

James, you are awesome. Can I just tell you that your letter was so needed and necessary this week. I needed it!!!! I know that God blesses us through other people and you were a blessing to me this week. Thank you! It sounds like everything is going good! That makes me just pleased as punch:] I hope summer school works out for you. What is institute like at the U?

Jonny! YOU GRADUATE IN 5 sECONDS! crazy! Are you excited? Find out the last name of "phil" and I will find out who is training him! Is he english or spanish? find these things out, mmkay? Is he a good guy?

Family, I love you. Here's a lot of pictures since my e-mail is lacking. I just don't feel super well today.

LOVE YOU SO!!

from our car to our door we were totally and completely soaked. texas rain is NUTS!
our elders getting ready for the baptism. :]
us and Robert Barnes
the last of lunch at the church
sister ruiz wanted a picture of the elders. hoooooly gosh i love them and i'm going to miss them
generations (plus cochran. she's adopted) at the fireside last nght.
holy gross i am laughing. but it's the best generation picture i've got of us.
me and my mamacita! lundy!!

oh! and mom. sister crawford has asked me to ask you this 900 times. and i'm sorry i have to. but she wanted to know if you could send me more fish oil and vitamins that you found. my hair is doing funky stuff again. falling out and this time it's ripping too. it's gross. i am coming home from texas disgusting. also have you found my retainer yet? sorry to be so needy :] love you!!!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

this weekend will be the last time I talk to yall before I come home!

Can you even believe that?? This weekend will be the final time I talk to you before I get home in 7 months (Ouch, seven months!!) We will be calling from the Paris' home and we'll be calling around 4:30 our time, so 5:30 yalls time. We get done with church at 4 so we'll just head over after that. Expect a call at 5:30 to 5:45. We will hurry over there!

So. This past week was AWESOME. I guess I'm telling you about the past 2 weeks, huh? Well, here goes.

Monday night we had a lesson with Cassi, who is the young woman in our ward who has finally decided to be baptized! It is just her and her mother living together and they are wonderful. We are going to see if Cassi's mom will come out with us tomorrow night actually. Cassi has always gone to church, she just has half of a family who has fallen away from the church and half of a family who is very active. Her mom didn't want it to be anyone's decision but Cassi's and now she wants to do it! It's because the ward is going on a Youth Trip to Nauvoo this summer and Cassi wants to do baptisms for the dead. However, she doesn't want the ward to know that she hasn't already been baptized (I guess she's embarassed that she isn 't a member) so it's all happening at her uncle's ward... which happens to be Kingwood :] So I get to mosy on back there in a few weeks and I'm excited.

Tuesday we went with Sister Gallacher (the young RM in our ward who is my idol!) to teach Berenis! We figured out that one of her concerns is worship of the Virgin Mary. When we told her that we don't pray to virgin mary, she got oh so sad. It was a shock to feel the spirit in the room shift so drastically, she was devastated! We figured out why, though. Sister Gallacher served in Argentina and in South American countries the role of Christ is kind of absorbed into the Virgin Mary. So we just told her, in effect, that she couldn't believe in Jesus Christ any more. We were really concerned with that this week. So we talked to a lot of Catholic converts (Lauro said "Tell her the Virgin Mary would appreciate her (berenis) more if she loves her son." how incredible is that?? Perfecto.) and etc and OH! Just the strength of the members is so necessary!! Missionary work doesn't work without these awesome members. Because of Sister Gallacher coming with us, I firmly believe that Berenis will be baptized!! and soon. She and her husband (a less active member) came to church on Sunday with their three kids and stayed for Sacrament and Sunday school. I just can't wait to tell you about the lesson we had with her YESTERDAY with sister Gallacher! I will tell yall on the phone, remember to ask me.

Wednesday we met with the Prigmores again. I love them, but it does not fulfill our purpose to be there, so I don't think we'll go back. Or if we do go back, it will be with a purpose in mind. We also had choir in the morning. It was our last choir performance. This choir is over and I'm sad but it is also good. I love to work, and the choir was taking time away from the work. As much as I loved seeing everyone all the time, it will be fine to have it over. And the spirit of the firesides was incredible, but members weren't bringing their friends!! :[ So it wasn't working the way we wanted. I will always be grateful for the opportunity we had to be a part of the choir, though. I loved it and had some very spiritual experiences as a result of it.

Thursday we met with Catherine and Sister Bourne (who is the medical-guy-for-the-10-closest-missions's wife) came with us. It was really cool!! (we aren't supposed to say "cool" any more. we will see how that goes) Catherine said she would be baptized if she knew this was true. We asked her to find out if it was true by reading the book of mormon. It just works so much better with member involvement. AH! It was wonderful. Then we had a good Hour of Power with Sister Gale and afterward Sister Gale came to our lesson with Brother Sanford. He is a less active man who has been saying to EVERYONE he "may come to church this sunday" for years. We went over with Sister Gale and talked to him about the sacrament. And lo and behold, who comes walking on Sunday but Brother Sanford. That was really neat because of what Elder Clarke said to us about "any good missionary...." (remind me to tell you on the phone :])

Friday we met with Robert again. He is very sincere and will be baptized next weekend if all goes well. He still makes me nervous, but not as badly any more. I just wish he wasn't so intent on everything I say. He is a good man, but I just get a weird feeling from him. It's probably just me though, right? I can't tell at all. President and Sister Crawford met him and she said he seems sincere just always have a member with us. And all the members that go with us don't say anythings weird. So I'm pretty sure it's just me. Friday night we met with Jonathan and the church and did a Church tour. AH! Let me tell you the power that is in those lessons is incredible. This is the testimony builder to me of that. We got him to pray about June 2 to be baptized. We are continuing to teach him. The church tour was powerful and the spirit was there. I am grateful beyond words to be teaching Jonathan. we have talked about why it is that he has never got baptized. One of the reasons is his choice and his agency. But another is I think that he had Elders teaching him. Not that we're better or worse than Elders - BUT we are different. We are very different than the Elders. We talked and I think there is something innate in women that makes us want to nurture or heal someone that is hurting. Men don't have that as prevalently and so when Jonathan wasn't cooperating with the missionaries they were like "whatever." but for us as sisters, we see how close he is and the fact that he CAN be healed just won't let us give up on him. I'm learning so much though. Speaking of we had this conversation and an Elder said to me one time "I think if an Elder can be as good as he needs to be or can be, he will always be a better missionary than a sister can. I don't think many elders DO become as good as they need to be or can be. So sisters are generally better. But if an Elder can do it right, he will be better than a sister any day." Now, yall know me. The feminist in me perked up a little bit and I was like "Uh, Perdon! what do you mean by that?" But he explained, and woudln't you know I think I agree with him! amazing right. let me explain. It is part of a man's Priesthood duty to be a missionary. Therefore, they have everything in their favor to fulfill that duty and be a master teacher and wonderful missionary. Because it's in their blood, so to speak. Does that make sense? It is their divine nature. The woman's duty is to be a mother, a nurturer. And a woman can be a better mother than a man on his best day. Because it's in HER blood. Doesn't that make sense? Because we are compatable and have different roles. It is SO COOL. Obviously it has some kinks to iron out and his delivery was kinda off, but I think I agree with him. I'll think about it more later and decide. But it makes sense. A man can be a better missionary than a woman on her best day. A woman can be a better mother than a man on his best day. Right? I don't know that first one still makes me disagree at first blush.

Saturday was kind of awful. We just didn't teach too much.

Sunday was good though we taught Jonathan at the Paris home. It was so wonderful. We told Jonathan to develop faith, we want him to come to church and he said he would!!!! this is such a big deal! He vowed he wouldn't ever go to church again. And he's coming! I think this is a sign he will get baptized which makes me so excited for him.

And that wraps up the week folks. I'll talk to yall on Sunday and fill you in on the last week and email you monday ith anything I forgot.

We are, Dad like you noticed, having SUCH a lot of teaching! How incredible!! We are blessed. And we are making a difference. I am grateful for it. Sister Erickson is kind of where I was when I first got here. Not knowing if this is really what she wants to be doing, but she's here and staying so there is that conflict. We talked about it and I want to help her so much. But I don't know exactly how. I just promsied her she WOULD feel better at some point. That she owuld be happy and that Christ would heal and fix what needs to be healed and fixed. I want her to be happy because I am SO HAPPY! I hope yall can tell. I just am so happy, I've never been this happy, and I've never been so sure that I will always be happy. Overall. I'll still have bad periods of time, or bad days or weeks or months maybe even. But I will be happy forever, because I have the gospel of Jesus Christ. And I know what to do to be happy - LIVE IT! and SHARE IT. That's why I want to live outside of Utah - because I want to build up the kingdom and strengthen people and share the gospel. But I can do that in Utah too, I know. I just see how needed it is out here. I can't explain it. Does that even make sense? I don't know. I love Utah and I love the members in Utah and I love that I grew up in Utah and I want to live in Utah to be a part of that feeling. But I also want to strengthen others who need it so bad. I don't know how to explain. I had a moment this past week where I thought "I don't know if I've EVER had this much joy. EVER." And I can't wait to tell yall about it. SUNDAY! Get ready it's gonna be fun! I will call. Be ready to tell me about yall and about home and about yourselves and what's going on. I'll be ready to tell you about my week and to try to explain how I feel about this church and this gospel. I love it. I am devoted to it. I can't describe the light it is. Sharing the gospel always scared me. And parts of it still do scare me. But I see how joyful it is to share it with someone and build them with it. And I want to do that always. AH! In my patriarchal blessing it says that I will be able to all my life and that is now my FAVORITE sentence in there.

I love being a missionary. I can't believe that it has to end at some point. But I will work hard and try to be good and hopefully I will feel, at the end, that my sacrifice helped someone else. Not just me, cause hello it helps me SOOOO much. That's a given.

I LOVEYOU ALL!

Mom, thanks for your letter!! Those notes were awesome. I wish I could have gone to that with you! Next year, right?? Thanks for being my mother and how is everyething going?

DAd, thanks for your e-mail! I'm sorry to hear about the hard things and glad to hear about the exciting things. C'est La Vie right? (pretty sure I learned those words from a spice girls song. haha) how are your talks coming?

James! Finals are over, yeah? WRITE TO ME! I want to hear what's going on in your life.

Jonny. Come on man. WRITE tO ME ALSO! yall can team up and write me on one piece of paper. I will chastise you both further on the phone sunday. :]

OH, my word, I love yall! You're the best. Isn't life good???? LOVE YOU!