Thursday, July 16, 2015


I'm gonna go full mormon on you and start with a definition:
settle: verbresolve or reach an agreement about (an argument or problem)adopt a more steady or secure style of life, especially in a permanent job and homesit or come to rest in a comfortable position.

So I mean, should I do that? None of those things seem bad. Resolve. Agree. Steady. Secure. Sit. Rest. Comfortable.

I hear two sides to this settling argument. "Never settle!" and "Don't be too picky!" I've always preferred the former. Because I think we're all worth every good thing we want. We don't always ask for that, is the problem. We can have all the good things we want. But sometimes we don't do the things that will make them happen.
Ugh, all of this philosophical shiz. It drives me crazy sometimes. Sometimes I want cold cut facts and actions. And all I have in my mind is walking in a circle philosophical garbage. 
I talked to my friend last night about possibilities.  And creating new possibilities for yourself. And acting in a new way. All of this is familiar. There is nothing new to me, really. Nothing is new. 
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. 
I see all these people. Living happy. Married. With Kids.
No secret, that's the life I'm wanting right now. That's the life I'm ready for. But all the guys who want to give me that life, or give me a start to that life, I don't want. But should I? I'm sure we'd be happy. I'm sure we'd be fine. I'm sure I'd even say later "I'm so grateful I didn't wait. I'm so grateful for this man." But here's the thing. Right now I know what I want. I know what not settling would look and feel like. And all the other things, they're settling. 
I guess I need to figure out if I want to settle and have the life I want, or if I want to hold out and have an unknown future and hopefully someday have the life I want. I guess that's the choice? Is it?
Okay, guys. What do you think? If anyone out in the world wide webs reads this rant and has any advice for me, I'm all ears.