Sunday, July 6, 2014

life lately

tonight i wrote a bucket list. want to see it? 
  1. swim with sharks
  2. bungee jump over a river
  3. ride an overnight train
  4. learn to surf
  5. write a book
  6. become a good cook
  7. take my kids to Disneyland
  8. visit every continent
  9. watch fireworks from a kayak
  10. make out in a library
that's a good start, right?
my life has been so off kilter lately. I have left my keys at home and been locked out not once, not twice, but three different times in the past 3 weeks. I have let myself spiral into competitive mode and started keeping score with my life. I have lost desire to have goals. 
funny as it sounds, the last time I locked myself out (I was on my way to Mikelle's "last" wedding dress fitting - I say "last" because I swear every time they say that it's like "It's gonna be six weeks and $10,000" am I right tom hanks?) I was so frustrated with myself. It was over 90 degrees and windy and it all hit me. How unorganized my life has been, how unfocused.
That was actually a good moment. I am really excited for the now again, and for the future. 
I've missed blogging, I've missed writing terribly - like someone cut off my leg or something. I just have missed it, but it's so busy right now. 
or is it? or have i been making it too busy?
i'm working out again. week 1 of the BBG, let's goooo!
The Crawfords are home, so now they can come to my wedding. I can't wait for that.
But seriously, with Mikelle getting married, I'm realizing that it is so time. And I hope that everyone is in agreement with that realization.
Sometimes I listen to Drew Tretick and feel grateful for beauty in the world. And my home. And my country.