Hello!

Okay, Oh my GOSH, you are not going to BELIEVE how blessed I am. I am so blessed that I don't deserve it at all, but I will take it. Because I want to be happy, and God wants me to be happy. And so He blesses me.

Here goes.

BLESSING #1

This last Thursday night we got a couple of texts in a row. I was writing in my journal, so I didn't check the phone. When I finally did, there was one from Sister Cochran and it said "Can you believe who is coming to see us, Sister Hicken? Are you so excited right now?"

So then I checked the texts from Atascocita. And it said (drum roll please)

"Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the quorum of the 12 apostles will be coming to speak to us next Friday night. Please be at such and such a place at this time."

I SCREAMED!!! Literally, so loud. I was jumping around, sister Lundgren thought somebody was in our house or something, and I was on cloud nine. I prayed for this, specifically guys. I prayed for Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the quorum of the 12 apostles. I wrote in my journal on the 2nd day of the MTC, that I know Heavenly Father would send Elder Holland to the MTC just for me... or to my mission. And He did. Call that whatever you want, but I know this is a blessing for me. It is a blessing for probably a lot of people, but I am beyond convinced that it is a blessing for me.

But wait, there's more.

It gets even BETTER. This happens to be what Elder Orndorff calls a "Tri Wizard Tournament" and the other two houston missions are going to be in attendance! This means that I will see a girl from High School, and MY MTC ELDERS!!!!!!!!!!! (The houston ones are boehmer, curtis the distric leader, and leishman the redhead). I am freaking out. I AM SO EXCITED.

I am so grateful.

BLESSING #2

Last monday, obviously as my e-mail stated, I was having a hard time. I can't tell you how awesome it was to get your letters and to open your package mom! I seriously have the best family in the world. And the best MOTHER in the world. You are so incredible. So that was such a blessing to me. All of your prayers and attention and love are such blessings. Thank you. PLUS I got a letter from Jenna Douglass!!! Jenna, if you read this, I love you so much, I will write back asap, and you are so awesome girl! I am so proud of you!!

BLESSING #3

Monday night, (AHHHH this is so exciting) I saw Ross Andrus - FROM LONDON! WHAT?!??!?! Yes. I did. We went over and talked about London for way too long and it was the best night ever. I love LONDON. And I got a letter from Kate (speaking of London) and she sent me Galaxy chocolate. I love London. I continue to be grateful EVERY day that I got to go. It was perfect. And seeing Ross made my.... Day/Week/MONTH/LIFE!! It was so great. I will attach a picture.

BLESSING #4

James is getting baptized this Saturday, and he is so ready. I wish I could bring you all to our discussions. He is so changed, so happy, so converted, so centered. And it's all postitive. He is so great, and the ward is so great with him, and he is going to have so much more quality in his life. His environment is bad, and he doesn't like it. He has had so much pain already in his life, and he wants to change his life. And I am SO excited for him!! I will send pictures of the first baptism of someone that I "found" and "taught" the whole thing to next monday! AHHHHHHH! I am going to have the BEST WEEK of my mission!



All of these blessings. There are more. But I will stop at 4. Even with all of these blessings, which I don't want to diminish because they are so good, we have been having a hard time. And that's okay. Because I am still alive, and I am still learning, and I am going to chuck this ikcy yucky sick nasty perfectionist business out the window. ONCE AND FOR ALL. It will be a process, but I will get through it.

BLESSING #5

We went to the mission home this morning. Last night, I talked with president crawford finally about how I was feeling, and I feel so much better. It was so good, and he is so great. A perfect-for-me mission president! And his wife is just the best! sister Crawford makes me feel so safe here. last night, sister lundgren had a really bad night. really bad. So we called the mission office at like 1:45 in the morning. And then we were up til like 4:30-4:45, and then we had gotten a flat yesterday so we had to get that changed by 8, and then we went to the mission home, and now we are e-mailing before zone p-day. ay caramba! this is a lot. but we are learning, and adjusting, and becoming. we are becoming better people.

I don't know why particularly this has been so hard for me. MISSIONS ARE HARD. i know I hated that before I left, but I am fully immersed in the difficulties now and that is just the quickest word for it. This is hard. Sometimes it is really not fun. But I am learning and becoming so much different and so much better.

So that's what it comes down to. I know I need to relax and not be so hard on myself. But I am struggling. Big time. And life is going on, but I am struggling. I know you do, but please pray for me. and pray for sister lundgren. and for president and sister crawford. i wish that I wasn't struggling so I didn't have to add trouble and stress to their already full plates, but I know that I need to. They are here to help me. And when I am strengthened, I can strengthen those around me. i know this.

I love you all. I am going to make it out of this, and come home next christmas being stronger and better than ever. but right now it is really hurty. And i don't like it. But i will keep going. Haha just like tom hanks says "i'm going to get up every morning, and breathe in and out. and after a while, i won't have to remind myself to get up every morning and breathe in and out." i'm going to keep going.

it will be alright in the end. i trust God. i will believe in Good Things to come.

I hope you're all okay! I do want to hear about everything at home!

James thanks for the beard picture. Nice work.

Jonny you started school, like TODAY, huh? YOU ARE A SENIOR. That is so bizarre. How's everything. you need to write to me, mmkay pumpkin?? gracias.

Dad, thank you a million times for being the best dad ever. I have realized that I have been looking for you in... pretty much every priesthood leader I see. I want you to be here. But you're not, and if you were supposed to be here, you would be. So you are where you should be, and I am where I should be. But know that I love you. And I am so grateful for you and how you've always been to me.

and Mommy, what can I say to you?? You are my best friend and my mommy. And i wish you were here. But I will be home lickety split (kind of) and we will hang out together ALL the time. I love you. Love wilsy too :]

Have a good week. Let me know how your lives are. I want to hear what is happening with you. That way, I feel like part of you guys are here, ya know?

Love,

Jilli