Download AllSAM_2815.JPGSAM_2831.JPGSAM_2832.JPGSAM_2833.JPGSAM_2827.JPG(i think that means "happy birthday to my handsome brother!"... i hope that is what that means haha.)
YOU ARE EIGHTEEN!!!!!!! WHAAAAAT? I hope your birthday is the best. I have told everyone that it's your birthday today. Today is transfers so we are hanging with the companionless Elders. I told them it was your birthday, and that you are 18 and you are so cool. If you haven't already, check your e-mail I sent you something. You are cool. Have a cool day. Do some cool things.
How's everything? I love it when you tell me details about what's going on at home - keep em coming! It doesn't make me distracted, it makes me feel connected. I promise. :]
Oh, my family. Hi. This week has been.. yikes. I have a lot of pictures to send because WE WENT TO THE HOUSTON TEMPLE THIS WEEK! It was so beautiful and so uplifting to be there. It felt like someone opened me up and poured light directly into my core. AH, it was perfect. We are so lucky to have a temple close by. I felt like I wanted to share the light that is in the temple with people. The Crawfords were there when we went to the temple, that was incredible! I really love the Crawfords.
Okay so the yikes part. Oh the ward. I love the ward, they are so good to feed us and love us. But I feel so stressed out. It's not so much the ward, but being at church is kind of awful. Yesterday we had someone come up to us and tell us that there are certain things we will need to do with a less-active woman, because she has some mental problems, so there are certain things that we will need to do with her and for her. And I was like "Um, no." There is a huge misunderstanding of what missionaries are in the ward for, I think. So I am a little stressed.
Karen is doing well, but not well at the same time. The only reason she is not doing well is... picture this. There is Karen in the middle of a baseball field and then a Red Team and a Blue Team. The Red Team thinks she needs one thing, and they are vocal about it. Karen lives with the Red Team, so she really trusts them and puts SO MUCH STOW on what they say (it is driving me nuts). We told Karen she has to quit smoking immediately to be baptized on August 13, when she wants to be baptized (Becuase the umpire told us that. The umpire is a little uninterested in the game, he just wants us to do what he tells us to, because he is so busy which is fine. I know he's got a lot to deal with). The Blue team is Karen's family, so she doesn't want to hurt them, but she is a little more defensive with them. And The Red Team and The Blue Team both have different rules that they want to play by. And everyone is against everyone and the umpire is against them all to a degree. And Karen is in the middle and being heavily influenced and I just can't be on either team because all I want to do is what Preach My Gospel says. It is incredibly stressful. I kind of want to just throw in the towell on this one. Red Team's CAPTAIN called us last night after we told her about quitting smoking because he wants to "discuss some things" and I'm like "Excuse me, I am the missionary teaching Karen. If you have a problem with me, don't tell Karen- tell me. Directly." When we were at dinner with the Red Team this week, CAPTAIN told us (right in front of Karen) "I was EXTREMELY upset when I heard about the baptism getting pushed back. I was FURIOUS. But we'll talk about that another time." And it's just like I don't know what to do. I am tired of walking on egg shells with the ward. I am tired of trying so hard not to offend anyone. I am tired of trying to please everyone and everyone microscoping me. This is a little difficult. I think I'm making it difficult to a degree, but the ward IS contributing to my stress. I just am clueless about what to do. Because I think that it's ME that is going to have to change, and switch my attitude but I am overwhelmed with all the changes I need to make. Every e-mail I send sounds so negative, I'm sorry. There are good things that happen, but I am a very stressed about the big things.
We have another investigator with a baptismal date! His name is James and he is 22. And he is so great. We taught him the Restoration and he was beaming and so happy and you could feel the power of the Spirit. He has had a really difficult short life. He already has 2 kids and is divorced. His younger brother died suddenly one year ago. And his mom is in jail for drugs I think. But he is so great. We are going to meet with him a lot and he is going to make it. I wish there were RM age young men in our ward. Because we kind of need that for a lot of our investigators and less-active members.
It is transfers and Sister Lundgren and I are still here, in Porter!! But that was expected. The Zone Leaders called us Saturday night to tell me that I was training. Whatever. They love to mess with me because I am new. I'm not training. Hahaha oh my gosh that would be a catastrophe!
I'm stressed. I am really stressing. And this new responsibility I feel for the ward and for the area is so unclear. I don't know how much I should feel responsible, cause at this moment I feel responsible for a lot. I feel like we are doing WAY too much "home and visiting teaching" and the members think that's cool because their teachees are less active or whatever. So the missionaries should go right? This is what I'm saying about the misconception of the purpose of missionaries. It is a good ward, but it is stressing me so much. I love it when we're with some of the Elders because I am way less stressed? I don't know why, but it takes away a little of the stress for me. I was thinking this week that there is 100% a reason that I came to this mission, and one of them is the family mentality of it. It really is a family. The Elders always hug each other, the sisters always hug each other. We all look out for one another. And we are a family. And if I have to be away from my family and dealing with these crazy things, I am glad I have a good family watching my back.
I'm sorry this is shorter this week. I love you guys so much. I don't want you to focus on me and my issues and stresses, so I'm sorry if it is bad for me to tell you all of this. I am enjoying my mission - so much. But I am also a nervous wreck some days. Haha what a joy I must be for Sister Lundgren. I think I'm just have my "new missionary freak out" a few weeks late - a transfer late.
So, what do you think, can we do 8 more of these? I've been gone for 2 months, so if we can do that 8 more times I'll be back! That's starting to be a little sad. This week, though, I feel like it will be a relief.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Have a good week. Pray hard. I am going to write you, Dad, about my ideas on missionary work. From what I understand, member involvement for some things is a little different in Salt Lake. But I will write you what I think and what I would want. One thing that WE really need is member to come to lessons with us, or drive us to lessons, or allow us to come to their homes for teaching appointments. I will expound on it, but just know that is one of the things WE need. People to come out with us.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I pray for you that you're all well and that you'll be blessed.
I'm trying to work hard.
Thank you to EVERYONE who wrote me this week. You are so good to me. I am so blessed. I can't tell you how much it is a lift to get something in the mail after the endless "Red/Blue battles".
There is the girls, the girls with the ZLs and me and Sister Lundgren. And me and Sister cochran with ELDER CURTIS. Oh my gosh. I love Elder Curtis. He is from the MTC. He's the best!
And Sister Baldwin, PS, is doing phenominal. She got a letter from her dad, read it, and all the sudden she is on fire and committed and wants to be here. So cool.
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