well, adios

see you guys later. in 18 short ones.
check here for updates and e-mails.
i'm good. i'm fine. i'm scared. but i'm sure this will be perfect.
not happy all the time. not sad all the time. perfect.
 i love my family. i love my friends. and i love my savior. and He will help me and be with me, i know it.
so write me.  and if you haven't, or if you've forgotten, check out www.mormon.org. i love it. it's why i am doing this crazy thing.
love you.
love, sister jillian emma hicken

top two things i will miss

and we're not counting the legitimate things, like family and friends and etc. 


TWO:
 Biebsy. I love him. and I LOVE listening to him whilst working out.


ONE:

pottah. i want to die a little bit when i think about missing this. everyone out there enjoy it for me double, mmkay?

here's a scoop

let me dish you some honesty, people..
sometimes i am terrified to go tejas for a year and a half. sometimes i feel like i don't really want to go.
because of a lot of things:
my family that i'll miss, my friends that will go on and change without me here, the opportunities that will be gone when i get back... all of these things are real.
But...
I'm going to be fine. and not fine in the horrible, generic sense of the word. fine in the way it was meant to be used. like 'one fine day' or 'he's a fine boy'. fine as in "of superior make or quality".
So, my friends, if you ever feel, like I did today, that nothing in the future could possibly be as great as what you're leaving behind check this out:

>>> http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=12522 <<<

and trust me-
you'll be fine.

plus THIS...and, p.s.,  know that i love beyond love Elder Holland. he's my favorite and i'm not afraid to admit it.

kajhfhwiujijfs

I just wanted everyone to know...
I am just about finished with my TEN PAGE BLOODY HARD SHAKESPEARE RESEARCH PAPER.
And I don't know if this is what my teacher was looking for. But I just have to let it go and go to bed because I'm supposed to get up early tomorrow and go swim. You know, so I can look good for the wedding. Hoo-rah! Less than TWO WEEKS! I'm so excited for Jenna and Sam.
And I'm so excited for me and my finals finish line. just inches away. i can almost taste it.
And I'm so excited for Kimmy Lane because she got her cast off.
Tonight the 4 of us went to Cocoa Bean to celebrate some of these things.

... And maybe my birthday on Wednesday... The big two one. Yikes.
It's been the BEST year of my life so far. I have very few complaints. Except that crush from my work - WHY AREN'T YOU MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME YET? I regret your lack of action. You're going to have to speed-racer it in order to hook me before the mish... You'll have 18 months of inaction to follow that. So just hop to it, okay? Grazio.

friday night baby

I had a date tonight. And - glory hallelujah! - he was not one of those guys who finds it necessary to "hang out" to fill the remaining hours til midnight. Nope, the date was over and he brought me home.


I'm excited for General Conference y'all! I am going to bus on home tomorrow and make some great goals whilst. 


Also, I have been thinking lately... and I would really like some super skinny legs. I feel like I've grown up now, because always people would talk about wanting this person's legs, or her figure, or whatever and I never got it.


I so get it now. I want Elizabeth Taylor legs.

Source: blogdorfgoodman.blogspot.com via Patricia on Pinterest

just do it

This morning, my alarm went off at 

...like usual.

However, when the clock struck

...I was still hitting snooze.

          

           And there I was, faced with a choice

To run or not to run? Seriously, I'm only going to have 10 minutes. Worthless?

I am happy to report that I decided 

via

And it felt sublime.

Fresh, fresh, fresh.

That is always how I feel afterward.  It was so worth it guys. My ten minute run was perfection.

So, here' a plug for y'all. Just do it. You'll feel better. I pinky promise.  

... now if I could only apply that to my fifty-billion term papers. [yuck.]

happy happy girl

Today, when I got to work the first thing my supervisor, Desiree, said to me is "Why are you so happy?"
Cause, people, I am happy.
I attribute it to a couple of things:


I seriously believe there is nothing in this world more refreshing than taking a run. Or a swim. Or a bike ride, or a walk. And I have been doing just those things. Thank you, my lovely roommates who are either triathletes or training for the Ragnar.
Plus, while I run I listen to J. Biebs. Best. Work-Out. Music. Ever. Believe it. Your work out will nevah be the same.


Secondly, I found out where I will be living the next year and a half of my life:

dun dun-dun duuun!



That's right, ladies and gentlemen. "Deep in the heart of Texas" (please believe I hear Hadfield's voice singing that e'ry time I think it. E'ry time.) And it's taken a while, but I am thrilled! I'll be serving in T.H.E. Mission (Texas Houston East). I can't even imagine how rad it's going to be. Which is terrif- the most marvelous things are always unexpected.


(coolie - I just googled "define:tejas" cause I refer to it in my mexicano-speak 90% of the time and check this out: 
Tejas: Sanskrit word meaning fearlessness, valor.Awesome.) 


And last week I reread Mrs. Dalloway By Virginia Woolf. The most scrumptious, delicious, breathtaking language in the world! It's one of those books that makes you feel like lace and pearls and fresh flowers - instant "classy".
Read it.


Plus, on top of all this sugar, I've been feeling really inspired lately. By quotes and classes and books and all of these sparking people.
Have a taste:
"The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become." - Charles DuBois


See what I'm saying? I'm a happy girl of late. It's bliss. 

well, I'm back...

For the record, I find it safe to say that I hate moving back to school in January.
Second for the record, this year is no where near as bad a last year.
Third for the record, it is bad enough. I don't particularly like it.
Fourth for the record, the only time I did not hate coming back to school in January was when I came back Freshman year, with Jamesy at the wheel.
Fifth for the record, I think I'll feel bad that I wasn't a better sister that semester for a long, long time.
Sixth for the record, I like my classes. Shakespeare, Creative Writing (wowza. this will be interesting), Brit Lit part 2, Doctrine and Covenants, and Persuasive writing.
Seventh for the record, I think I'm still going to go to Brother Bott's evening Mission Prep class. Shh. That's against the rules.
Eighth for the record, it should not get dark at 5:00 pm. It just should not. It is depressing and I hate it.
Ninth for the record, it's going to get better. Much, much, way, way better. I know that it will, because of last winter.
Tenth for the record, if you want to have a party let's chat. I need something fun to go on.
Eleventh for the record, this is a lot of "for the record"'s.

Isn't this the sweetest picture? I love libraries.

via

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Hi. 
I love Christmas. Today's "Big Picture" was entitled "Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas". Okay, for your information, Jimmy Mathis' version of that song is one of my FAVORITE Christmas songs ev.ver. (There's a tree... it's sturdy... a sturdy tree that doesn't mind if it's snowing... it's in a outside...it's sturdy, a sturdy tree...)

This is one of the pictures. It reminds me of the updated "Miracle on 34th Street" (my favorite Christmas movie). And I do believe that Santa was once a redhead - check out the tips of his 'stache. 
                                (Okay, a man just entered the ASB lobby and mooed at another man. Weird.)
Christmas is coming and I am so happy about it! I went to a party with some London-ers last night and it was just the ticket to sooth my sad sad heart. 


On a more sober note, I have spent the morning reading about the Elizabeth Smart/ Brian David Mitchell case. If you are not familiar with it, here's a link to the story. 
I was 12 when Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped.She lives in the Salt Lake area, her cousin went to high school with me.  I vividly remember the day that she was found and returned home. I don't pretend that I know at all what she went through and I don't mean to be dramatic and say that what happened to her affected me like it must have her - I can't imagine. I just know how horrifying the ordeal seemed to me. I remember feeling afraid to sleep alone in the basement, and remember feeling so sorry for her little sister, watching the tireless efforts of her mom and her dad. What happened to her affected the community at large, and I think that how I felt echoes the fears and concerns of all the girls that were her age when she was kidnapped.

I just want to say that I am so happy for her! She has said that she can finally move on with her life, and I have to say I believe it! She is serving a mission for the LDS church (which was interrupted by the trial, so she gets to go back to France for a few months) and she looks happy. I pray that she'll be blessed to leave this behind her and that her life will now continue as normal as anyone's. 


OKAY happy christmas y'all!

happy holidays

Let the holidays begin! I am so sorry for everyone who is traveling today.
But...
I think all of this "biggest storm in thirty years" stuff is really cool! I guess it's because I'm safe and warm inside. Since it's Thanksgiving week, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to take that to "I'm grateful that I'm safe and warm inside".
I'm home. In Salt Lake. Listening to Christmas music with a pine scented candle burning and a Christmas tree lit up in the next room. Sound nice? It is.
I'm putting off writing my paper. I write probably 2 sentences and then play a game of hearts, jump on facebook (it's one of my two days this week for facebook), or check my e-mails or my googlereader feed.
I'm so happy today. Work was fine. Toby Bushman, where ever you are, I really hope you get your scholarship. Please never call me again. Mom picked me up after work, we made our tradition Brick Oven Pit stop, and then shopped our way home to the 84121.
Ooooh, it is so intense outside.

reasons why today is bomb-diggety

One: Harry Pottah is tonight. (You want to know a secret? I am not overly excited... weird. I don't know where this is coming from. Hm. Maybe I'll get more excited as the day goes on. Updates to follow...) P.S. I am way not going to make it. I am currently at the sacking of Trelawney in book cinco. Still. 
**Successfully excited. YES! Due to the fact that Quasimoto came through for me, and that I am currently listening to my absolute favorite chapter in HP - "Snape's Worst Memory". Love it.**


Two: I have been sleeping for hours and hours every night so I am feeling refreshed and lovely. It's missionary week this week for my work, and we are supposed to observe the hours of missionaries (aka bed at 10:30, up at 6:30.) I am rocking at the going to bed at 10:30 part.


Three: I have decided to not check weather.com several times a day, every day. This is because I get my hopes up for snow, and am always disappointed. "I type in the zip code, I wait impatiently as it loads, and then my breath catches in my chest as I wait for three little words: you've got snow." Unfortunately for me, my life is not like Meg Ryan's life and the precipitation levels do not depend on Tom Hanks being a baller. "If only" (double whammy).Whatever.


Four: I am smoking my homework load. Seriously, I am not behind, and if I keep on top of things especially over Thanksgiving break, I am fancy free and easy for the rest of the semester. suckahwhaaat?


IMPORTANT NOTE: If I check any blogs in the evening, I have nothing to check whilst at work. So, my blog stalking list needs some fattening up. Anyone have a coolie blog they think I would love? Let me know, por favor. Grazie. 


Additional note: I have the cutest writing on my blog for the headers you know? Only it has disappeared for the last week. And then, just now, it is back. What is going on? Anybody? Bueller? 

i hate wind

i absolutely bloody hate wind. oh my gosh. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
If a nice fat snowstorm comes out of this, I will consider the day not a total irritant. otherwise...
i will continue to hate wind more than any other weather that ever could be. i hate it. it serves absolutely 0 purpose (unless it is bringing a snow storm in. and i'm going to check weather.com and bet that it isn't. it's just blowing because its foul and stupid and to spite me. I HATE WIND.)

i wish you could hear what i hear

because it's the sound of rain on my windows and window sill with the window wide open.
and the smell is gorgeous.

I love that it's autumn.

(P.S. I feel so much better thanks in huge huge part to this. having a bad day? take a gander.)

lately

I am in the worst mood of my life lately! What is up??
So, instead of talking about the reign of terror that I have been creating, I will post some over due pictures and say some things I am glad about. capisci?

Big News:
I finally like Provo. I mean, there are still things that I am like "Ooooh, my gosh." But aren't there things like that were you live too? At least a couple?

My newfound appreciation for the city comes from (ironically) the mountains. I used to deplore them - they are not like my mountains very much at all, you see. But, the leaves have already started to change and it's been stormy and cool and...

visual aids: (seriously, are not doing it justice. it's sublime)

Also, here is a little photo of the girls of 218. It was Mikelle's birthday - can't you tell by the ecstatic joy on her face?

quote

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

― Mark Twain (Who knew he ever said anything that wasn't dripping with sarcasm or irony?? This is actually very beautiful.) Also, I love the weather of today. It is finally not 85 degrees. I love it. Last night, I went to a Sitar concert last night. (as in "Then - the magical sitar player falls from the roof and says 'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return'" Yeah. Righteous.) Nishat Khan. He was incredible. And performed for 100 hours.  Also, it's Mid-Autumn festival. (shout out to mikelle who introduces us to weirdy chinese foods and cool traditions). We are having "JowTsuh" and if you speak with her for the correct spelling and punctuation.

pull of the moon

a tea-kettle whistle deep within a home
as a radio sings a song it's sung countless times before
and i step outside with a searching heart
to save up wishes as we look above

at the pull of the moon
and the weight of the stars
you anchor me with all that you are
like the stemming of the tide
moon's attraction to the sea
you are, you are all these things