Well. We had a really bad week.
Monday night we had dinner with President and Sister Pomeroy. President Pomeroy is one of the mission president's counselors. It was really good. We had dinner with them and the Hermanas in Baytown. It was a good dinner. President Pomeroy is a scriptural genius. He is very helpful and we're lucky to have him. I wish I knew how to better utilize the people we have. Except at dinner I told President Pomeroy his name was weird. It was bad. Here is what happened "Do you know what John Wayne's real name was?" "Oh, I used to know..." "It was Marion." "Yes! I knew it was something weird..." "That's President Pomeroy's first name." Yes. That was how that went. Then we went to see John and Carol. We saw John every day as he prepared for his baptism. He is such a blessing to me in this awful time.
Tuesday we got to go to leadership training. Also a great blessing. It was awesome. We watched a video about Roger Bannister (I think) the first man to break the 4 minute mile. We talked about how he did it and then how after he did it, several more people did it right after. We watched a clip from the movie "Facing the Giants" have you seen it? I think it would be a good movie. You should check it out. We watched a part where the coach inspired the leader of the team to be a leader. I feel really guilty thinking about it, cause President wants me to be a leader and I just really don't feel strong enough right now. After that we went to see Olivia a recent convert and less active. She is 23 and her oldest daughter will be 8 in two months. Yikes. But we can help her I think.
Wednesday was okay. We taught a lot of lessons, but when we reported them, the district leader was like "So... how many new investigators do yall have today?" and I was like "um, okay, I am trying not to die over here. please don't belittle our good work."
Thursday was an okay day. We spent all morning trying to find someone to do hour of power with. If the mission wants us to do hour of power, I think the wards should be made to understand what the hour of power IS. No one gets it. I don't understand how they don't get it. I am going to explain it very clearly on Sunday. We did the hour of power and it was pretty good. We found a new investigator, B. She has 2 kids. I have been praying that we can teach a family and maybe they are them! I hope so.We had interviews on Thursday morning. They were fine. I feel like President just wants to hear "things are good. we are great." and sometimes thats not true. And it makes me disappointed in myself that I can't say it.
Friday was a hard day. But everything I prayed for happened. I couldn't think to pray for much, but I did pray for it to rain. And it did. And then I prayed that we would have some ice cream at a less actives house. haha I know, lame. but I thought I will feel better if I get some ice cream. Well, she didn't give us any ice cream. But after a huge affair trying to get someone to drive our investigator to the church for a baptism interview, they were having an ice cream social. so we got to have some ice cream made by liquid nitrogen. So He gave me some ice cream after all.
Saturday was a really hard day. But we had appointments with our less actives and that was nice.
Sunda was a really really hard day. I didn't feel good, i'm not sleeping well at all and I felt horrible at church and the whole ward talks to ME because they think mokeaki is just a place holder and so she doesn't listen and doesn't communicate well. So. Yeah. Then we had a baptism. Also people like our WML kept asking me what to do. I was like "This is yalls baptism. Not the missionary's baptism, it's the WARD's baptism. All baptisms are. Figure it out. I don't feel good." And sister cochran came and she just misses the ward oh so much and I'm like 'cool. come back and have them.' see such a bad attiude I have. I'm sorry for it but it's how i feel. I remember when I was in la porte, i would say "i love being a missionary I don't wan to go home." and sister cochran would say "no... i could go home that will be fine." and now the roles are reversed and i'm mad that im here and I don't want to be living in cochran's old area in her shadow. I want out and I'm not going to get it.
And here were are today.
We'll just keep struggling through. That's all we can do. I'm sure is extremely disappointing to president and to the members but whatever.
I'm glad to hear about San Fransisco, seriously I am! It sounds like yall had fun.
Mom, I didn't get your letter this week. I didn't get any letters this week except some from last week at leadership training. I don't know why the office is so retarded and can't forward my letters to me. it's awesome. my address is 305 w. baker #1215, baytown texas. I sent another e-mail with the whole thing so i'll check for it and send it again. But, mom I wanted to tell you about the coolest thing that happened.
Your letter to Sister Mokeaki made it. And when I gave it to her, she was all smiles and said "Oh, your mom so awesome!" And she read it and i watched her read it and her face was lit up the whole time. And then afterward she said "You want me to read to you?" and so she did. And then at the end she said again "Sister, your mom so awesome. I'm so happy." and then she put her face in her hands and started to cry. And she said "I'm so happy. I'm really grateful for your mom. I see her letter and I think "oh, I wish my mom can write me" but i know it's hard to them to write me. so I really appreciate it when I get this letter." and if I wasn't crying already she said "your mom, she really love you. she send you the letter and the stuff because she think "i really love her i want her to be happy. so even though it's a lot of stuff, i send it to her cause I think maybe it make her happy to get the letter and the package."" and basically I bawled like a baby. Thank you for writing her, mom. It mean the world to her. And thank you for being the best mom ever. She said she's going to write you back. I wish you could have seen the impact it had on her. I seriously cannot imagine not getting letters from my family. Because of the retarded mail service I haven't been getting any letters for the past 2 weeks since I've been in baytown (right when I probably could really use a letter, right? nice). and it has really made me sad. I know i'm spoiled and should be grateful for what I get, but just being honest. She is very strong. Just not at all prepared to lead this area. I do not know WHAT in the world posessed president to let her lead an area she had only been in for 6 weeks. It's not going well.
Dad, I liked your account of san fran. Sounds way fun! thanks for toasting to me. Hopefully all this with jonny going to school for a semester means i will get to see him before he leaves.If he goes December 13-19 I will be ticked. I will just sneak into the mtc and find him, that's all. Thanks for your quotes too. I love president hinckley i've been trying to read things from him he past few days. I love that second one, that's one that sister bouwhuis told me.
James and Jonny what's up? I would love a letter.
Well. that's what it is. I am feeling pretty bad. but whatever. I think it's mostly because I want to be a missionary so bad and I don't feel capable. I want to be good for my last 5 months and I just am horrified at the thought that I won't be amissionary forever and i am so failing at it right now. I don't want to regret any of it. it's so short and i so am not good at it. i just wish i was in la porte a lot. and i feel mad that i got la porte all to where i loved it and got the ward feeding us and a ward missionary that helped us and then... i get transferred to disfunctional city. i'm sure it's not disfunctional, i just don't know what to do and the ward from the get go doesn't love us and expects a LOT of us. ugh. i'm not a happy camper. Wish I was. Probably do'nt let jonny read this e-mail. this is not one of the better weeks in th elife of a missionary. ihope yall are well. just keep going. i've been listening to elder holland's talk "an high preist of good thigns to come" and it makes me feel better. Yall could make a cd of good talks for me to listen to if you'd like.
love you.
Sister hicken
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