in baytown

hola familia. Well. I was right. I got transferred and I'm in Baytown with Mokeaki. Things are fine. I like Mokeaki a lot. She's from an island called Kitibus, I think. or Kiribati. Anyway, it's by Fiji. She joined the church 5 years ago and she is learning english. She amazes me. She never gets any letters from her family. NEVER. They don't have mail on her island and they can't e-mail or something. So she is out here on her own. Bless her heart, it makes me so sad to think about. I know how it affects me when I don't hear from family so I can't imagine what she feels like. I would guess because of the trasnfer I didn't get any mail this week and it was the worst. I feel guilty thinking about how much of a baby that makes me. Sister Mokeaki is a very strong girl, that's for sure.

So. Baytown. I have such a bad attitude about it all, which is my problem. But I just don't know why, I don't want to be here. It's probably because I think I'm going to stay here for the rest of my mission. and Oh, my word. I do not want to. But since I think that, that is probably exactly what is going to happen. Too bad. I want to know how to be better. I'm just very unenthusiastic and tired. I'm sleeping better, but that's cause I bought some stuff called Melatonin at the Wal Mart on tuesday. I sleep fine, but then I'm in a haze all day long. Also a bummer. President told me that he sees me as a very strong missionary and that I am capable. I just don't feel strong. So that's a hard inconsistency for me.

Last monday I said goodbye to everyone. It was sad. I really did love La Porte. We had dinner with the Callens, who was our baptism at the end of May, Cassi. Then we went to see Lauro and Maria and sister Manzo and the Agnarssons. I will miss them all.

Tuesday was transfer meeting. It was fine. After the meeting we came back to baytown and saw some people. John Norris is getting baptized this weekend, on Sunday. He is cool. The elders started teaching him a year or so ago and his sister got baptized because of it, but he didn't. John didn't feel like the time was right. A couple of weeks ago he came up to the sisters at church and said "The time is right. I want to be baptized." so we are teaching him. He is very humble. I really like him and his sister.

Wednesday, the fourth of July, was kind of lame. We did have lunch with a family in our ward. the Cobabes. They are awesome. Sister cobabe was a missionary in korea, where she is from. She is completely non judgemental of us. Which is so nice. I hate it when the members are judgemental. Then we did service at a park for a community event. We were shoved in this little pagoda making pop corn. Sister Mokeaki didn't feel well so we went home and she went to bed.

Thursday pretty much all day was weekly planning. Which was glorious because I despise weekly planning. But for some reason, because I am trying to teach mokeaki how to lead an area, it was okay. Thursday night we tried some people but I cannot for the life of me remember who. Oh well.

Friday we had district meeting. Our new district is bizarre there are 2 sets of sisters and 1 set of elders. Crazy. The hermanas and the Elders and us in a district. It's fine. It's different. At night we ate with some members, the galavi. they were baptized 30 years ago. They are so cool.

Saturday... I also can't remember. We tried a bunch of people I think and saw a few. Oh. We taught Preston Peterson his new member lessons at the ward mission leaders house. It was great. I just love and adore teaching it makes me so happy.

Yesterday church was good. I like this ward. They are nice. There is a different energy about the ward, the ward council is very involved and energetic and it's wonderful. Also a member from the Pasadena II ward was there !! I was so happy to see her. It is so good to see familiar faces. However, the whole ward thinks mokeaki can't understand anything they say, so they are all asking me all these questions like "what about this? have yall done this? we need to do this." and i'm like "sweet. wonderful idea. I just got here on tuesday." i think i'm probably taking too much of this all on myself. But this is how I feel.

Today we had to get some stuff from la porte that I left. so we are back in the hood. it's nice. I know everything will work out and I know that God is in control but I'm just not a happy camper this week. For the past few days I haven't been. I really think it's because somebody called Baytown the Vortex. You get sucked in and you never leave. And that just sounds awful to me. I don't know why I don't want to be here in the first place, but I don't. I know I know terrible attitude. I don't know where it's coming from. I just don't want this to be my last area. I really don't. And because of that I feel like President is gonna leave me here forever. And by the end I'll be like "oh, i love it blah blah blah" but right now? don't love it. and I can't imagine how hard it would be for mokeaki to be here, but that's a little stressful for me. I don't know. Ugh I just feel terrible. I haven't felt like this since Porter. But whatever. President wrote me and said something like I am a leader and I don't feel like a leader. I don't feel strong. Why in the world do I feel like this? I don't care so much why as how do I change it? But I don't have any idea where it's coming from so I really don't know how to do anything about it. I think it feels like a prison sentence. That's what it feels like. I don't know WHY it does, but it does. Bondage baby.

Dad, thanks for your e-mail. It made me cry! You are so lucky! That is an awesome phone call. I want to meet her! Hows everything else? I know president told you not to talk about home, but you can tell me how life is.

Mom, how are you? I got your package from brother Christiansen today! Because the la porte sisters had it. Thanks for everything you're the best :] question, what should I do with all the clothes? do you want me to ship some of them back or leave them with other missionaries? I just have too much to transfer around. Well, maybe i'm never getting transferred again so I won't have to worry about it, but just in case?

James, how are you? I hope the summer is treating you well. I got a letter from Brit and she told me all about her engagement to Brad. How crazy is that?? Do you still hang out with them?

Jonny, what's up? How is life?

Family, I love you. This week is not a good one. I know that things will be okay again at some point. I just right now am feeling like dirt. I hope yalls week goes better. Please pray for me. And enjoy the summer :] It has been relatively cool this week, thank heaven! like high 80s. Very very nice.I'm going to freeze when I get home because 85 feels perfect and cool to me.

Love, Sister Hicken

Oh! P.S. would you PLEASE go on Lds.org/youth and click on music and download the following songs and put them on a cd to send to me? We can listen to these because they're on the church website.

• Arise (NOT "Arise tot he Mountain" just "Arise")
• All times, all things, all places
• Your light
• I will
• These are the days
• broken
• live like you believe
• more
• i will be ready
• drop by drop
• all is well
• The gift of our lives

at least those. And any others you can fit on there. Muchas gracias? James can you do that? I think it would be easy for you. Love ya!

oh and p.s. if you have a minute, write a seperate little note to mokeaki.:] i would love for her to get more mail.