love

LOVE. Let me talk to yall about LOVE. It has been my theme this week.

FIRST of all, I love Sister Erickson. We are really having a good time together and we are really working hard. It is the best time I've had so far on my mission, because I am striving to be better and reach goals, but I am not beating myself to death when we don't. But we are meeting a lot of goals that we haven't met in weeks! Sister Erickson is funny. She's a little bit OCD, in that everything has to be just so. She is quiet at first but when she opens up she is pretty witty. She is a Geology major at BYU. So far, from her, I have learned the importance of following up on commitments. She has these lists that she just adds to, and every night, she goes over the list while planning. And it drives me a little nuts because I am always SO tired at the end of the day, but I am learning a lot and we are getting a lot accomplished. She definitely does not forget anything, which makes us better missionaries.

SECONDLY, I love the people we're teaching. Let's go through the week. Monday night we had dinner with a slightly less active woman. She is really cool, though. Because of this dinner she let us come over and do service on Saturday morning (Mom, did you know that Kirby makes an attachment that is a carpet cleaner? It's pretty cool and I am now PRO at it, so if you want to get one feel free. I can teach you how to use it in 8 months.). Because of that, she came out with the Elders to a teaching appointment with their investigator, Angie, who is getting baptized on Saturday. And she is willing to go out with us teaching. That is a focus we are going to have is bringing members with us to teach. I've said it before, but this DOES NOT WORK without the members.

Tuesday we met with Mike and Christina (found out they love weed. awesome.) and then we went and taught Catherine. OH MY WORD. She is the Sister Kretschmer of La Porte. She is the coolest old lady and has had the greatest life. She is a staunch Catholic- not because she believes it, but because her husband does and goes to mass 3x a week and she always felt religious unity in marriage was important. However, we asked her to read the book of mormon and she said she was "fascinated" and excited to read it. Our error there is we didn't invite her to be baptized, so I don't know if she's 100% clear that baptism is always our endgame when we teach. Oh well. She is the coolest woman. And she helped me fix my skirt (my favorite green skirt split right up the back because I tried to jump on my bike a few weeks ago. I didn't know who could fix it, and looky there, Catherine can!)

Wednesday we met with our investigator Berenis. Oh my word, I love Berenis. She is so cool, she's 26 and her oldest daughter is 6 or 7 and, then another daugther is 5 and her son is 3. There is such an atmosphere ofLOVE in their home. Her husband is a convert and not really active, but we are teaching her and she is slowly learning (story of my life, right? all these slowly progressing investigators. We are going to speed things up, tho, don't worry).

Thursday we did hour of power (have I explained that to yall? if not let me know) and found someone named Lisa to potentially teach. We also NEARLY bashed with this old man. He had a Jesus-Fish ring on. He had a gorgeous house though and was very nice. He just thinks we're derranged a little bit. Misled is a better word, he thinks we are misled.

Friday we had a GREAT district meeting and it rained afterward. We went and taught Robert. Robert... creeps us out a little bit. So we are taking members with us. But he is excited to read the book of mormon so we're excited to teach him. With members present always.

Saturday we had service like I said, then we taught Mike and Christina and their son Jesse (or Alex. I can't tell them apart they look like twins) a Lesson 1. They really liked it. I hope they will keep commitments and that we will teach them well because if I've met anyone who could benefit from the gospel, it's them. We also taught Jonathan. We are teaching him the lessons and then dropping him. Or baptising him. One or the other. this "chess match" he likes to play is a mental work out, but it's not our purpose. I hope he keeps commitments too because I really want him to have the gospel and the healing power of the Atonement. SO much.

Sunday we had church. And it was great. I feel kinda bad because we all e-mailed president about our ward and he said he is "sad and disappointed" and is coming to our ward this sunday. Eek! I just wanted advice. But one of the elders is like up in arms about the ward not feeding us so I think he layed it on thick in his e-mail to president. However, this sunday was wonderful. We tried so hard to love the ward, we tried to talk to everyone and I felt the love increase. I really believe that one person (or in this case, 4 people) can make the difference in a community. We all have such incredible power to make change happen. I love that about the gospel. With the gospel, people can CHANGE THEIR LIVEs. That is what I am out here for. I want people to have access to the Atonement of Jesus Christ and it's healing, ennabling powers. This all brings me to

THIRD, I love love love love being a missionary. I really do. I was thinking about (since sister erickson is new) how it was to leave home. And how that hurt. And I thought about how getting ready to leave home was the WORST part of it all. Much worse than actually leaving was the building up to leaving. But I thought about how hard getting ready to leave was for me, and I just am blown away by how grateful I am that I did. This is the best thing I've ever done. I am happier than I've ever been. I am smarter than I've ever been because I'm learning more than I ever have. I just adore being a missionary. I can't believe how fast time is going. Can you believe in a week and a day I've been gone for 11 months. ELEVEN MONTHS?! How did that happen? So much good has happened. I don't know how to say how much I love being here, how grateful I am to be here. The opportunity of a lifetime, that is what this is. I get to be smack dab in the middle of it and loving it. Every time transfers happen, things are a tiny bit rough for me. But I think about what Julie told me in the card she gave me after I got my call. She quoted from the talk "Remember Lot's Wife" by Elder Holland. "She doubted in the Lord's ability to give her something better than what she already had. Apparently she thought that nothing could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind." I believe that now with all my heart. I believe that the Lord loves us so much. He wants to bless us. We need to have faith that whatever He's leading us toward will make us better and happier than EVER BEFORE. In any time of change this is true. Dad, when you changed jobs. Mom, when you went back to work. James, when you went on a mission, and then again when you came home from your mission. Jonny, as you graduate high school and leave on a mission.( Double whammy to have those at once, huh? but I promise you'll be okay. I promise you, Jonny, that if I can do this and be happier than ever before, you can do it too. And you'll do it way better than I did becuase of who you are. You are a great person and will be a great missionary. Don't worry, don't stress. I know you'll be fine.) We all just have to learn to have patience with ourselves and trust the Lord. We don't have to be perfect or happy or balanced all today, at this moment, right away. We just have to trust Him, becuase he tells us "You will be there. You will be there, I will take you there." Like in the hymn "I Believe In Christ", it says "And while I strive through grief and pain His voice is heard YE SHALL OBTAIN"!!! Oh how I love that part. Becuase that's what FAITH is. While we are striving through the grief that comes from change and the pain that comes from growth, His voice, our Savior's voice that has been the same and will be the same - is heard (if we listen): "Ye shall obtain. I know what I can promise. And I promise you that you'll make it." When Elder Holland came to talk to us, he said, the first thing he said was "I love you, and the Lord loves you. And He'll take you from where you are to where you need to be." That promise from Elder Holland has played in my head hundreds of times. I believe Him.

Oh, do you see how much I love being a missionary? I love this!! I am learning things that I, me Jillian Hicken, could not have learned at home. Or I couldn't have learned them as quickly, or loudly, or whatever you want to call it.

Family, will you pray to our Heavenly Father? Find out what His will is, see where that matches with your own, and ASK HIM FOR IT. Ask him for your desires to be realized. And then have faith. Move forward not worrying about it. Because I can promise you, "ye shall obtain". He doesn't love me more than He loves you. And He has blessed me so much. I know He wants to bless you, individually and specifically.

Holy soap box. Haha. but I hope that you can feel the Spirit through what I've said. So what if I'm just a through and through missionary now? With all the chessy-ness and the cliches? I am aware of it and I love it! That means, at least partly, that I am losing myself. I am losing myself and Christ is going to make a better me in His image. This gospel is true my family! I know that. This church is Christs. I believe that enough to preach it every day. We are so blessed and the Lord loves us. He will take us each from where we are (a good place) to where we need to be (a better place). All these things are my testimony. I share them in the name of Jesus Christ.

So. Haha.

Dad, how has your week been? thanks for your e-mail! I hope things continue to go good and that getting ready for stake conference is exciting! I think it sounds awesome. Your talk sounds spectacular. How's work?

Mom, thanks for your letter. Thanks for going to Bouwhuis' homecoming!! She is so great. That family she talked about, the second miracle? that's mike and christina and alex and jesse. How is everything for you? I love you!

James, how's life? How's everything? I'm so happy to hear your life is going so great right now. Any chicas? You have to fill me in cause I want to set you up with bouwhuis' friends, mmkay? Hows finals?

Jonny, how is the winding down of high school coming? it's kind of sad, huh? But it's also fun because you have the WORLD in front of you! You can do and be anything that you want!! I'm way proud of you. You have been a great example to me and James always. Thanks for that. WRITE ME!!!!!!!! Muchas gracias.

say hi to wilsy for me.

I love you all. I pray for you. I am so grateful that I get to be a missionary and for all the help each of you have given me. And all the help everyone else has given me. We have an incredible extended family, huh? and We have awesome friends. Do yall know how the Weavers are doing? LOVE YOU! Have a good week. Read that talk from Elder Holland. It was a BYU Devotional January of 2009. I think. It's called "Remember Lot's Wife". I think. I fyou find a tlak called "The bEst is yet to be" that's not it. it's close, but it's abridged. You need the WHOLE thing. Will you read it please please please??????